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| The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks | 
 enlarge | Authors: Dan Indante, Karl Marks
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
Category: Book
List Price: $13.95
Buy New: $8.15
You Save: $5.80 (42%)
New (34) Used (16) from $8.08
Avg. Customer Rating:  86 reviews
Sales Rank: 6622
Media: Paperback
Edition: 1st
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 288
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.6
Dimensions (in): 8.2 x 5.4 x 0.9
ISBN: 0312310846
Dewey Decimal Number: 307
EAN: 9780312310844
ASIN: 0312310846
Publication Date: May 1, 2003
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Condition: BRAND NEW
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Product Description
Congratulations, man! By picking up The Complete A**hole’s Guide to Handling Chicks, you are just pages away from finally understanding:
- How a five-dollar date can get you laid
- How to stop being friends with girls and start getting them in the sack
- Where you’ll have the best odds of finding a one-night stand, and how to get rid of the chick the next morning
- How to trick a woman into thinking you’re classy, even if you have holes in your underwear
- Why fat chicks always try to keep you from banging their hot friends, and how to finally stop these evil creatures
- How to stop your wife from nagging you into an early grave
- Why it’s possible to watch six hours of football, put the moves on your neighbor’s hot daughter, and leave the toilet seat up in the same day
- And much more
The Complete A**hole’s Guide isn’t like all the other candy-ass relationship books on the market; it doesn’t cover issues like romance, love, and finding Miss Right. So, if that’s what you’re looking for, there are plenty of other books you can hide under your skirt as you skip out of the store. This book is about controlling the women in your life, and never having to say you’re sorry . . . EVER AGAIN!
We’ll take you from the day you’re born to the day you die and show you how women can be manipulated, frustrated, and ultimately dominated throughout the course of a man’s life. By illustrating the insanity of the female mind, we’ll show you why the flawed chick psyche causes them to continuously fall for the a**hole, no matter how many times they get burned.
If you’re not interested, that’s fine. We’re sure there are ballet classes you need to attend before your wine and cheese party. However, if you are ready, then grab a six-pack, order a pizza, and get your hand out of your pants because you’re about to read the most perverse, sadistic, and hysterical relationship book ever written. Enjoy!
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| Customer Reviews: Read 81 more reviews...
 Outrageous Fun. March 8, 2005
123 out of 162 found this review helpful
I cannot think of any book that would more offend Big Feminism or the avatars of political correctness than this one. I'm not surprised that the authors used cover names when publishing it. The premise of the book is, unless you're rich or famous, you have to be a SOB to consistently pick up women. There is much truth in this assumption. That women are receptive to bad boys appears undeniable even if it is profoundly depressing to those of us who treat them kindly. The writers here want to teach their readers how to become a**holes so they can become more successful obtaining the pleasures that the opposite sex has to offer. In the case of this reviewer, however, it's too late. I seem to have a biological predisposition to being nice to women I like--this desire, I believe, is actually rather healthy but is counter-productive in the short-term. I do think that there is great humor in many of their rules, asides, and stories. Accusations of misogyny will (and have) be directed towards these guys, and, although I would like to defend them, I cannot. They make some sweeping generalizations that are not completely accurate, but I think that's all part of the Andrew Dice Clay tone they adopt. To them, it's all in good fun. It won't be to feministas, who complain on a daily basis about the average man's lack of submission, so one can only imagine the conniptions they'll have after reading this. Let's hope it becomes a classic in Womyn's Studies departments across the country.
Stranger than fiction but mostly spot on! May 11, 2005
122 out of 139 found this review helpful
This is without a doubt the funniest damn thing I have read in the last ten years written by two individuals who either learned or have always been animals with women. Their insights while many times exaggerated (one assumes for comic effect), are dead on target about 95% of the time. What these (and all other) players understand that girly men and wussies do not, is that it's not about brutalizing, injuring or manipulating women. It all about men giving away their personal power to women they are attracted to. It's not that women are attracted to bad boys, as much as bad boys possess many of the traits that women are attracted to. Women, especially beautiful women are approached constantly and are used to making most men uncomfortable as well as bend over backwards to gain their approval. So when they finally meets a man who doesn't cower, meets their every thrust and parry without missing a beat, doesn't shower them with compliments they've heard a hundred times and actually pokes fun at them........he separates himself from the rest of the pack (of mostly nancy boys and panty waists). Bad boys are generally confident, cocky and not easily intimidated (least of all by women). These guys (the authors) truly "get it" and if you take that much away from this masterpiece in disguise, you'll start "getting it" as well, more often than you ever have in your entire life! Buy the damn book!
 WOMEN DON'T LIKE 'BAD BOYS', THEY LIKE 'WINNERS' March 24, 2006
44 out of 63 found this review helpful
Too many people say "Women like bad boys.", thus "nice guys finish last". That is a bit misleading.
The truth is we call winners, alpha males, etc. "bad boys" and "dangerous". Why? Because those that actually create and succeed and get power are often those that know, control, and manipulate the "system"...that is, the integrated business, legal, and social system. "Nice guys" are usually men who don't know the system...nice simply equates to naive...and that is why nice guys work their life away for "bad boys".
But men love "bad boys" too. We love action heros that break the law...Arnold, Dirty Harry, Deathwish. Why? Because deep down we all know that those that break or bend the law make important things happen. Columbus paved a path of cultural destruction and instituted slavery all the way to our nation, cowboys killed indians and Mexicans clearing a nation for others to live in, the Boston Tea Party, the Revolutionary war (and every war) was orchestrated by "bad boys" and actually fought by "nice guys".
And you don't even have to get away with breaking the law. Criminals are loved for their indescretions...from the Crip who killed a cop to the president who got a BJ, most people, men and women, not only have some level of respect for people for daring to have principles of living beyond the laws of other men. They are no one's b!tches. As the Godfather said "I don't apologize - to take care of my family, and I refused to be a fool, dancing on the string held by all those bigshots."
Anyway, women, like everyone, are looking to increase their odds of becoming a 'winner' too. Winner meaning power...the power to not work, the power to travel, the power to buy what they want, the power to not take crap from anyone. So when looking for a mate, they look for signs that a man is a winner: shoes, cars, looks, the ability to communicate, and 'winning' behavior. Acting impolite indicates that a person might just see through the social system, and actually might actually be or become a winner...instead of the zillions of nice mediocre guy.
Frankly, men look for female winners too, but are too egotistic to allow them to be superior than they are. Thus men typically look for good looking women who are a bit dumber than they are. That way the man has someone who makes them look good in front of others, has something nice to screw, and a good-looking baby maker...and yet can't interfere with the decision making.
I'd say generally wanting to be a winner is a good thing. Just try to not to be shallow or immature with how you define 'winning'...or you will lead a shallow and immature life. The best thing really is to become a mature winner yourself first, then find a matching mate.
Concerning the book, it immaturely pushed the women like bad boys theory too much without specifically explaining why. The truth is you can be a winner and be a good husband too, but you had better be ready to bend the law...think Brando Godfather. Not Pacino Godfather. The later was simply TOO willing to break laws...and he lost his wife for it.
The book was quite entertaining, it kept men's feelings pretty real (rare for today's wussy world), and actually had some usable advice for men at their various stages of life. Due to the lack of books about men's sexual needs and about examining the totality of a man's life, I give this book four stars.
Too much for my wife December 22, 2003
32 out of 40 found this review helpful
A buddy of mine at work bought this book for me. I was reading it during our Christmas party and had about 10 guys around me cracking up. I'm sure the booze helped but one guy was laughing so hard, he threw up. I read it on the subway home and some guy next to me was leaning over my shoulder reading and laughing, too. He said he was going to go over to B&N and buy it immediately.So you've got about 12 guys in a row who thought this was the best thing since sliced bread. And then I got home. My wife took one look at it, threw it in the garbage, screamed at me for 20 minutes and vowed that she would never have sex with me again. I haven't talked to her since. Of course I went out the next day and bought another copy of the book and spend every morning commute laughing my behind off. Any book that can win me friends, impress my buddies AND GET RID OF MY SHREW OF A WIFE shouldn't just be rewarded with a solid review, it should get the Nobel Peace Prize, Pulitzer and Oscar all wrapped up in one. Buy the book, show it to your wife, get some peace and quiet for the first time.
You gotta be kiddin' me November 14, 2003
28 out of 34 found this review helpful
If you're some dude who can't get lucky and you need advice on how to do it, DON'T BUY THIS BOOK. The advice is mostly made up and I doubt much of it will help. BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!If you have even an ounce of sense of humor and want to spend the next month with milk spurting out of your nose and your ribs separating from your body from the convulsions of laughter, buy the book right friggin' now. I don't have the words to describe how ridiculously hysterical this thing is. I saw it in a Barnes & Noble and couldn't believe they'd even sell it. When I opened the pig up, I laughed out loud on every single page I looked at. I took it home, AND I SWEAR TO GOD, my grandmother (68, but very cool) picked it up. I thought I was going to die. She went to the last chapter (Divorce and death) and she fell on the couch nearly crying she was laughing so hard. She was very excited to learn that you can have sex until the day you die. Anyway, long story short (too late for that) BUY THIS BOOK NOW FOR YOURSELF, YOUR WIFE, YOUR BROTHER, YOUR MISTRESS AND EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON YOUR CHRISTMAS LIST. I gotta go sit down now - I'm still out of breath from cracking up while I was on the toilet.
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