"A common fear," he writes, "is that self-forgiveness is a snazzy, politically correct, socially acceptable way of letting ourselves off the hook by avoiding accountability and personal responsibility. This is absolutely not true." Self-forgiveness is the starting point of personal accountability. Think of it this way: the individual stuck in self-doubt and self-contempt will be more governed by selfish considerations. Such mental distractions and detritus mire one in self-absorption. Sounds good; how do we get there? First step: to tap the power of awareness, acknowledging the nagging, internal conflict between what we were taught to be in childhood and our present, authentic selves.

Through journal writings and visualization exercises that facilitate deep, internal work, Thom Rutledge (interestingly, he is also a professional magician) takes the seeker on a journey from self-criticism to regenerative self-compassion.

Product Description
Aimed at changing the tone of one's critical inner voice--the product of punishing childhood experiences--this book combines warmth and humor with a powerful step-by-step program for making the journey from self-criticism to self-compassion. Charts & tables Targeted print ads. 5-city author tour.

In as much as the two disciplines can still be distinguished from one another, this is a book of psychology --- specifically, an exploration of the psychology of the relationship of the Self with the Self. For some readers, this will quite naturally involve their spirituality, but there is no prerequisite belief system to benefit from the Self-Forgiveness Handbook. All that is required is a desire to feel better about yourself and your life.

Too often, self-help books dwell predominantly on the explanations of how we became so . . . well, in need of self-help books, and then devote only a few chapters (toward the end of the book) about how we might recover from our now well-understood dysfunction. I want The Self-Forgiveness Handbook to be of practical use to you beginning with page one, chapter one. I want this book to be a box of tools you can learn to use --- with practice --- to make a real difference in your life. Please let me know what you think.


A Real Change   April 14, 2002
 7 out of 7 found this review helpful

Have you ever read a self-help book that actually changed your life for the better? I have read dozens, but the change only lasted for about two weeks. Thom Rutledge's The Self-Forgiveness Handbook: A Practical and Empowering Guide is refreshing among self-help material, because the change in my life has been long lasting.

The Self-Forgiveness Handbook is packed with insight that guides us from self-criticism to self-compassion. Unlike other self-help books that dwell on explanations of how we became so in need of self-help and devote only a few chapters at the end of the book to actually changing, Thom's book provides us with practical and easy to remember techniques from page one. This means that we start changing from day one.

As Thom takes us from where we are to where we want to be, the laughing never stops. His unique sense of humor lives throughout the entire book. Not only did I smile as I turned the pages, but I felt as if I was simply having a conversation with Thom. I suggest that you read The Self-Forgiveness Handbook if you want to feel better about yourself and your
life - for a lifetime.

Jenni Schaefer, author of Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too (McGraw-Hill)


The road less traveled gets smoother.   August 27, 1999
 2 out of 4 found this review helpful

With The Self-Forgiveness Hanbook, Rutledge has given us all (the readers) a wonderful, and much needed gift. The road less traveled is significantly smoother thanks to Thom Rutledge.