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| My Custom Van: And 50 Other Mind-Blowing Essays that Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face | 
 enlarge | Author: Michael Ian Black
Publisher: Simon Spotlight Entertainment
Category: Book
List Price: $23.95
Buy New: $11.97
You Save: $11.98 (50%)
New (44) Used (14) from $10.46
Avg. Customer Rating:  231 reviews
Sales Rank: 11378
Media: Hardcover
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 240
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.8
Dimensions (in): 8.3 x 5.7 x 1
ISBN: 1416964053
Dewey Decimal Number: 818.602
EAN: 9781416964056
ASIN: 1416964053
Publication Date: July 15, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Condition: Brand New. 100% money back guarantee. All books shipped from Strand Bookstore, New York City, USA.
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Product Description
Get ready for the read of your life. Never before has a single book combined awesome vans, unicorns, Billy Joel, and erotic fiction in such a potent combination. A writing tour de force? Perhaps. A reading experience that will sear itself into your consciousness like a red-hot branding iron? Without question.Comedian and basic cable superstar Michael Ian Black unleashes the full fury of his astonishing intellect in this collection of short comic essays. My Custom Van is a no-holds-barred assault to the funny bone that will literally beat you into submission with hilarity*. How did he do it? How did he create such a fine anthology? Answer: With love. Michael opened his heart and used the magical power of love to write more than fifty thought-provoking essays like, "Why I Used a Day-Glo Magic Marker to Color My Dick Yellow," and "An Open Letter to the Hair Stylist Who Somehow Convinced Me to Get a Perm When I Was in Sixth Grade." Maybe you think love is not a substitute for "good writing skills" and "spell check." Bull pucky! When it comes to writing books, love is the most powerful word processor of all. Sounds pretty great, right? And yet...something is still holding you back from paying the full purchase price of this book. What is it? Perhaps you secretly believe you do not deserve a book this good. Nonsense -- you deserve this book and so much more. In fact, if Michael could have written you all the stars in the sky, that's what he would have done. But he couldn't do that, due to his lack of knowledge in the area of astronomy. So he wrote this book instead. And this flap copy. Enjoy. * Michael Ian Black is not responsible for any actual injuries caused by reading this book.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 226 more reviews...
 Be Waterboarded by Comedy July 13, 2008
11 out of 17 found this review helpful
No seriously -- just one page into My Custom Van and I was gasping for air, drowning in laughter. And it isn't as if Mr. Black lets up with the mirth-making, no -- he's ruthless in his tickling of the reader's funny bone.
I dreaded reading the book, because I help Michael with his blog, MichaelIanBlack.Typepad.com. It would be hubris to say we're buds, but we have a cordial relationship, so I was worried -- what if I didn't like the 50 essays that were supposed to blow my mind all over my face? What then?
I had nothing to worry about, in the end. From Billy Joel's tense and angry anticipation of a party where he might have to play "Piano Man" all the way through to Michael Ian Black's musings on what he might say if his book won a literary prize, My Custom Van is virtuoso work -- a satisfying and unique mix of cerebral humor that sticks with you long after you finish the book and just plain stupid humor that causes the reader to embarrass himself if he's reading in public, like, say, the drive-thru window at Long John Silvers.
I can't really isolate one essay as funnier than the others, but I do have to say Michael's bold declaration of his reasons for finally using a Day-Glo Magic Marker to color his male member is easily one of the funniest humorous essays I've ever read by anyone.
Do yourself a favor and buy this book now. No less than Abraham Lincoln commands that you do so. Well, Abe Lincoln and me.
Nonsense never made for better humor July 19, 2008
11 out of 16 found this review helpful
Michael Ian Black is a national treasure, and anyone who doubts that has clearly never beheld his genius comic deliciousness. Wake up, America! "My Custom Van" is indeed a compilation of 50 mind-blowing essays, and it should be required reading for every citizen (and illegal alien) in the U.S. of A. Heaven knows in this politically-saturated morass we call the news media of 2008, our nation needs some laughs.
From his apprent obsession with having fudge on hand at every turn to his 50 fabulous New Year's resolutions, this book will widen your cranial horizon and fill it with unparalleled glee! Read about how he would make himself sound if he were a lonely chicken seeking a soul mate, or better yet, how he likey to party (at apparently every cliched restaurant chain in existence), and his rampage against the smug and self-satisfied David Sedaris (whom I've no doubt adored his essat in this book).
I would so strongly support the idea of him having his own comedy program, as he was the only thing "Ed" had going for it. Huzzah for Michael Ian Black, you silly, strange, and succulent humorist!
The funniest thing I have ever read August 29, 2008
11 out of 13 found this review helpful
My Custom Van is, if not one of the funniest, then THE funniest book I have ever read. Each of these fifty or so essays produced not a chuckle, not a polite laugh, but deep belly laughs, the kind that bring tears to your eyes.
I admit to being a complete and utter fan of Black's appearances on the VH1 "I Love the..." series of television specials. Black's humor is biting and well-timed, with zingers that will get you in the gut. Thankfully, he's an equally talented writer with a wonderful imagination. Who else but Michael Ian Black would: wonder what would happen if he colored his personal area with a magic marker? write letters to a squirrel, or to the first girl he ever intimately encountered while at sleepaway camp? Or even pen some of the most obnoxiously funny "erotica" ever to land on the page?
While I certainly got fifty kicks out of reading this book, I can definitely see how some readers might not be as amused. I think Black's humor might not be for everybody, but I'm not exactly sure what makes me think that. But if you're the kind who enjoys a quick romp through a tome written by a guy with a unique sense of humor and point of view, perhaps you should check this book out. You may actually find yourself with a yen for eating fudge in the back of Black's custom flokati and bamboo covered van.
 More Like A Minivan September 4, 2008
11 out of 26 found this review helpful
I come not to praise Michael Ian Black, but to bury him.
Okay, just a little praise.
I've been a fan since the "Viva Variety" days when Black played a Spanish cowboy. My wife and I watch the various "I Love the [Decade]" shows on VH-1 largely to catch his riffs on fads past.
"My Custom Van" is a disappointment, a very mixed bag of overlong essays surrounding a handful of gutbusters. It's surprisingly derivative---Black several times apes Seinfeld's "Letters from a Nut" series and in others meanders along for several pages before letting the final ironic zinger fly, Steven Wright style.
The whole feels rushed and tired, more like a minivan than a custom van.
Skip this and keep an eye out for Black's TV projects, where he benefits from brevity.
Buy this book! July 10, 2008
10 out of 13 found this review helpful
When it comes to humor, the market is flooded with mainstream books in which to choose from. This is not one of them.
If you admire clever, witty, enigmatic minds - then this is the Author for you. Over and over again, I found myself laughing to the point of tears.
This is not for the faint of heart or easily offended, but instead, for those of us who hunger for fresh hilarious insights. Everything is delightfully askew with Mr. Black.
So, go ahead. Sneak a peek through a contemporary "looking glass" and enjoy a fast, magical, customized ride. You won't be disappointed.
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