It is somewhat of a `technical manual' that explains SM terminology, the mechanics of `erotic pain' as well as how to use clamps, bondage, flagellation, erotic torture and humiliation. The second part of the manual introduces the reader to SM organizations, SM relationships and how to construct specialized types of scenes. This book is a definite must have for anyone contemplating exploring the public BDSM scene. The terminology and basic safety rules are "musts" at any responsible event.

Because this is book is written by a scene player, it does move a little quickly over the initial exploratory stages that many couples go through to get into SM - Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns has a somewhat more elaborate introduction into the SM mindset. However, if you have decided that you are going to play and want to know how, there isn't any better book out there to get started with.


Excellent book for beginners and those already into BDSM.   June 14, 1998
 85 out of 86 found this review helpful

"SM101, A Realistic Introduction, Second Edition" by Jay Wiseman is what I consider to be the best book for newcomers to BDSM and those who want additional information about things they haven't yet tried or understanding terms and techniques that they may not be familiar with.

Jay writes in an easy style; the book is written in plain language and is completely understandable... infinitely "readable". He defines most all the current usage terminology, discusses the basics of SM play and Dominance and Submission better than anyone else in my opinion. It is a "How To" and a "How Not to Do" with explanations about every phase of BDSM play.

The best reason to buy this book, however, is to really understand what safety is all about. Also the book contains lots of resources for further information about the lifestyle as well as a wonderful "negotiation" form for new and experienced partners so that their sessions will be mutually safe and pleasurable. He stresses something that I know is true from my many years in the lifestyle and that is that open communication between consensual partners is of the utmost importance.


The book to move you from fantasy to reality   August 28, 1999
 60 out of 61 found this review helpful

SM 101 presents in an easy to follow format everything you ever wanted to know about sadomasochism but didn't even know enough to ask. The book is impressive in its scope, addressing areas of bondage, pain processing, dom/sub interactions, safety, how to use floggers, whips, clamps and other implements of "torture", finding partners, and even how to start your own SM organization. My favorite part of the book are the random quotes scattered throughout , addressing all aspects of SM from a personal perspective. SM 101 is more than a how-to book (though the novice will find numerous specifics on just how exactly to tie that knot or what to do with that belt folded so innocently in the dresser ), it includes a significant amount of personal reflection and philosophy gleaned from being an active and well known participant in the scene for over 25 years. Highly recommended.


This is the book I wish I had read when I was a beginner   September 15, 2001
 57 out of 57 found this review helpful

SM 101 contains all the essential information that BDSM beginners desperately need, written in a way that newcomers can understand. Though the introductory chapter says it isn't intended for people who are already members of SM community, I would argue that this is an excellent guide even for people with years of experience. I have been a member of several BDSM organizations over seven years, and I found this book to be thought-provoking and helpful. This book has provided me with information and advice that is more honest (and more accurate, I think) than much of what I have gotten from years of workshops, lectures, and demonstrations.

I think the primary advantage of this book over others on the subject is its depth. Its introduction to the basics of BDSM is particularly thorough. Personal anecdotes, both amusing and poignant, give real-life insight into what it's like to play with BDSM. It has a strong emphasis on safety without being pushy or patronizing. Most books just recite arbitrary rules. SM 101 gives information, suggestions, and advice designed to help readers make their own decisions about the risks they want to take.

One of my favorite parts of this book is a collection of off-handed remarks overheard at BDSM events. These quotes, scattered in margins of the pages, range from clever to hilarious to profound. Another nice touch is advice on finding partners, and a step-by-step guide to negotiating SM play. There are even negotiation forms that can be copied and used to make sure that all the points are covered. I strongly recommend the safety precautions this book suggests for playing with someone new.

All in all, SM 101 is a book I would highly recommend to anyone who is seriously considering exploring safe, sane and consensual BDSM.


A must-read for even the curious-only   February 24, 2000
 49 out of 50 found this review helpful

As a newcomer to the bdsm "scene" I am looking for good information on more than just techniques. I am also trying to handle fear, anxiety, and other issues I can only guess at right now. For this, Jay's book is among the best I've read. Not only does he explain the "how" of bdsm, but the who, what, and why people get into this. To read about his own journey over many years has helped me relax and take my own next steps. I believe that anyone who is struggling with "coming out" with their "alternative" sexual expression should read this book right away. It will give you a map of the territory, which is not as scary as our culture leads us to believe, and lead you into what is hopefully a personal transformation.