Suffice it to say, there ain't nothing like them in here.

Frankenstein's Daughter is a very guilty pleasure. Clearly made for the price of dinner for four at Sizzler, this demented flick throws everything it can think of at you- not one, but two monsters, bathing-suit clad teens bopping to the song "stylings" of Page Cavanaugh and his trio, and Harold Lloyd, Jr (who is noted as the liner notes as being a masochist. I heard the boy sing. I am here to tell you, that boy is a sadist.) The idea is that Mr. Frank (enstein, get it?), the infamous doctor's grandson, has weasled his way, lock, stock, and Igor into a plum gig as the assistant for Dr. Morton, who keeps a convenient lab in his west LA home, complete with stadium sized wine cellar and loads of arcing electrical equipment. (The good doc, may not notice all of the bodies being wheeled around behind his back, but won't he notice the Edison bill?) Mr. Frank, you see, is determined to keep up with Grandad's work- he's going to make his own monster, if he can just find a head for it. While he has his version of Igor scuttling about accident sites looking for one, Mr. Frank whiles away the hours by alternately trying to seduce and turing into a monster his employers comely neice. Though the doctor comes across as fey as Liberace, he tries jumping both the niece AND the nieces busty blonde friend. Mr. Frank isn't a guy to take no for an answer- when the niece slaps him, he gives her drugged "fruit punch" turning her into a blue faced unibrowed monster, and when busty rejects him, he mows her down with his car! Making the best of things, he decides to use busty's head to complete his monster, who promptly runs amuk causing much (cheaply done) havok. The Mr. Frank decides the monster can be used to destroy those who oppose him, leading to another one of those "Johnnie, my uncle's been killed by the mad scientist who tried to kill me and killed my best friend who's now a murderous monster and the policemen guarding the house are all missing and the door to the lab is ajar so let's go investigate" Which lets Mr. Frank (now happily calling himself Frankenstein) get to actally say the line "you meddling kids" Which means that he is immediately dispached with a face full of acid- thrown accidentally, of course, so that the monster can mourn his passing (talk about co-dependant!) by catching herself on fire. Which paves the way for another pool party where they can cook more scarily huge kebabs and have a reprise of "Daddy Bird" (aieee!)

These down-at-heel shockers are incredibly fun- innocent, schlocky and hammy, they beat hands-down most of the calculated sceamfests foisted on the screen today. Buy this one right now.


People Are Dying -- Hey, Let's Have a Party!   September 16, 2008
 7 out of 8 found this review helpful

Man, this gotta be one of the worst films I've ever watched -- even worse than Catwoman!

Most other reviews here have already outlined the plot so I'll make this short: An elderly scientist lives with his pretty niece and can't-keep-his-hands-off-her assistant, Oliver Frank (who is really the grandson of Dr. Frankenstein, duh dummmm). The elderly scientist goes out and steals chemicals from a lab he used to work at to develop a serum that will prevent cell decay. Oliver wants this formula to prevent decay in his newly sewn up body that he plans to have walk the earth. His assistant also assisted in the earlier Frankenstein creations and can't wait to get started. For some reason we have the niece (who got some Mickeys from Oliver) turn into a werewolf-like creature terrorizing the neighborhood in her blue underwear and later on, with a stronger dose, in a bikini. But then the director decides to drop all that, never explains any of it, and goes into the "need a head for the body" mode.

Then we break for a beach party! We have two musical numbers and some singing and dancing and the biggest shish kebabs I've ever seen.

Then we go back to the monster who walks so slowly it's a wonder that no one can run out of her way. And she kills with karate chops and wears funny black rubber gloves. And what a face!

Other strange scenes: Oliver tries to strangle the old scientist by grabbing his collar bone. Suddenly a knock on the door. It's the police! Does the old guy say "Hey, he tried to kill me!" Nope. Hi, lieutenant what can I do for you is more like it. AAGGHH!! {The old guy later dies off set. The heartless cop says on the phone while the old guy's niece is sitting right there "Nope, he didn't make it." Such heart, such class. Ughh...

The main cop is played by the same actor who later was a scientist on the sixties show The Time Tunnel (John Zaremba). The Time Tunnel Volume One Poor guy must have really needed the money.

The scene where the monster attacks the niece's boyfriend, and she does not look the least concerned, even though he's her fiance. And he guards himself by shoving a table at the monster who can't seem to get around it. Kinda funny if not just downright dumb. I think Ed Wood took lessons from this one.

Somewhat better: I Was a Teenage Werewolf