Brides of the Impaler (Leisure Fiction)

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Editorial Reviews:

Product Description
Internationally published horror novelist Edward Lee unleashes his 37th book and his very first vampire novel! When a new couple moves into a New York brownstone, they find their ultimate dream house...until they go into the basement. Suddenly, a macabre nun is seen lurking about, with an entourage of lewd and gibbering homeless women who seem to KNOW what evil secret lurks in the bowels of the old house. As the couples' dreams turn to lust-stained nightmares, and the bodies of missing persons are found impaled, the basement's secret is revealed at last: the remnants of Dracula himself...

Customer Reviews: Read 2 more reviews...

2 out of 5 stars

Sorry Mr. Lee, but this one wasn't good August 24, 2008
7 out of 10 found this review helpful

Let me begin by saying that I read this book today, while very sick, so that my have tempered my ability to fully enjoy this book. Needless to say, I really didn't enjoy this book... I have actually been struggling to read through it for 3 days, which is a record for me since I usually read about 300 pages a day and this is only a 330 page book. As far as I am concerned, this story commits the ultimate sin that a horror novel can commit, it's BORING.

I would like to do a summary but it's hard since this book flips back and forth between so many different people. First we have the couple, Christina and Paul who have just bought a new house in NYC that used to belong to a Catholic Church... something that the church long ago forgot was hidden there. Then we have a pack of junkie prostitutes who suddenly have a new leader that is guiding them to commit strange acts, including murder. We've got the cop trying to figure out how the theft of Christmas tree stands and whittling knives combine to create murder, then we have the priest who remembers what's buried in Christina and Paul's house and doesn't know what to do about it... and we have an archeologist who shows up just long enough to get the ball rolling then to tell us what is actually going on later in the book.

Lee is famous for being an "Extreme Horror Writer" unfortunately there really isnt' anything extreme in this book. The gore is pitiful, never once did I even raise an eyebrow or consider what I was reading was gross. The sex, though plentiful is boring rather than entertaining. I would NOT advise this to an Extreme Horror fan.

For all that is going on in this tale, there is really about only 100-150 pages of the actual story, the rest is filled up with sex, sex and more sex... when it's not sex its someone playing with themselves or fantasizing. The problem is that it's not even GOOD sex, by the third time you're reading about it... it's boring, and you've still got about 200 pages of it to wade through. Perhaps Lee thinks we're all 14 and get a kick out of it... but more than likely he needed a lot of padding for what is actually a very short and sadly uninteresting story. The characters aren't entirely unlikable, but at the same time only two of them are worthy of our interest, but they are busy playing with themselves through most of the book so we don't get much meat on them.

I really wish there was more I can say, but I don't want to come across as a complete hater... the idea was good, the second coming of Dracula should have been an exciting topic... but it took a second seat to the padding of the story. I can't really advise this for Vampire fans, because there aren't any vamps until the last 20 pages, Extreme Horror fans will be disappointed in the gore level, people looking for story will be bored as I was.

I considered giving this a single star, but it did have a lot about Vlad the Impaler, which is a personal obsession of mine so it got bumped up to a 2 star story for that purpose only. I'm very disappointed because Lee is capable of so much more.

4 out of 5 stars

A Dracula story with not much Dracula September 28, 2008
4 out of 4 found this review helpful

I've been reading a lot of Leisure Fiction's horror novels this year, and even before I read a page of Edward Lee's Brides of the Impaler, I had decided that, at the very least, it had the best title in the bunch. With the Impaler reference, it has to be a story about Dracula (a.k.a. Vlad the Impaler), it is also reminiscent of the old Hammer Films titles, particularly Brides of Dracula.

The horror allusions don't stop there, as Lee also names characters after Euro-horror cult figures Paul Naschy and Jess Franco among others and even has a Ketchum Hotel, an obvious nod to writer Jack Ketchum. So Lee pays his tribute to the genre, but is the book any good? My only other experience was the weakest story in the anthology Triage (with co-writers Ketchum and Richard Laymon); this was a more positive experience.

As the title hints, this is a Dracula story, though the character is off-stage for most of the novel, relegated to historical accounts by other characters. The villains are the title characters, an unappealing bunch of homeless women who are recruited by the mysterious New Mother to assist in a secret ritual. This ritual will involve, among other things, the brutal impaling of several people and the use of some ancient artifacts.

These artifacts are currently buried in the basement of the newly purchased home of Cristina Nichols and Paul Nasher. Paul is a loving fiance but otherwise a typical wealth-obsessed lawyer who wants the best of everything. Cristina is the designer of some morbid figurines that have become popular collectibles. Something in the house is affecting Cristina, giving her ideas for new figures and hypercharging her sex drive, but also giving her nightmares and putting her in trances.

Though the sex and violence is more than you would ever have seen in a Hammer Film, Brides of the Impaler does evoke memories of the studio's old Dracula films. But even you've never seen one of those movies, this is a nice read. Lee shows that you can write a good Dracula story without even much Dracula in it.

1 out of 5 stars

NOT GOOD - I am a huge Ed Lee fan but this stunk!! September 12, 2008
2 out of 5 found this review helpful

OK. Let me start off by stating that I am a big Ed Lee fan. Unfortunately this reads more like a cheesy romance novel with a vampire back story. One reviewer has already talked about the sex in this book and he was exactly right... BORING!! There was nothing abhorrent, aberrant, disturbing or even mildly entertaining about ANY of the sex in this book. Just cliche after cliche like "she felt his/her mouth on her sex". His very PG-13 references to sex in this book were almost laughable. I completely agree with another reviewer that this was filler to an otherwise short and uninteresting story. Much like another reviewer, I can usually polish off a book like this in a day, but this was a struggle. I just kept waiting for it to kick in and it never did. The gore was a complete non-issue, it just never happened. That is what I read Lee for, good old fashioned BLOOD and GUTS!!!!
The whole story centers around a ritual to bring back the great Vlad The Impaler. It could of maybe sustained itself in a short story without all the lame filler. This book is not really long on pages but it sure is a long and very uneventful read. If there was some ritual I could go through to bring Edward Lee back I would gladly sacrifice myself to make it happen (unless it took over 300 horrible pages to do so like this book).
Sorry Ed, I love ya but this book sucked (get it... it's about vampires). UGHHH
Skip this and read GREAT Ed Lee books like, The Bighead (AWESOME), Goon, and Header.

1 out of 5 stars

Big Let Down. September 18, 2008
1 out of 2 found this review helpful

I don't write reviews for books I hate. Usually. I'm writing this because I loved Flesh Gothic and The Messenger, and wondered what went wrong here?

There's nothing wrong with graphic sex scenes in Horror, as long as there's a point. Every three or four pages of this book had a meaningless sex scene. Not to give anything away, but even if a character is under some kind of possession that causes strange sexual behavior, it's still ridiculous to have twenty sex scenes in a book, unless the book is as huge as King's The Stand.

I hate to say it, but the other reviewer was right when stating that it read like a romance Horror novel. The premise of this book could have been taken to killer places; the Vlad the impaler aspect of vampirism is one, that if it had been written right, could have really been good.

I've heard Edward Lee's small press books are really good, and I still plan on checking those out, but I really hope his next Leisure releases aren't anything like this.

I liked the cover art, but that was about it.

You're a way better writer than this, Ed.

5 out of 5 stars

FINALLY, A FRESH TWIST ON VAMPIRES October 1, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful

Edward Lee's first vampire novel is a gory, erotic, mystery-stuffed ton of fun and pumps new "blood" into all things Draculean. I liked it even more than House Infernal which was great too. This is a must read for all horror fans!

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