Danse Macabre (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, Book 14)

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•	Micah (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, Book 13)
•	Incubus Dreams (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, Book 12)
•	Cerulean Sins (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, Book 11)
•	Narcissus in Chains (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, Book 10)
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Editorial Reviews:

Product Description
These days, Anita Blake is less interested in vampire politics than in an ancient, ordinary dread she shares with women down the ages: she may be pregnant. And, if she is, whether the father is a vampire, werewolf, or something else entirely, it's clear that being a Federal Marshal known for raising the dead and being a vampire executioner is no way to bring up a baby.

Customer Reviews: Read 609 more reviews...

2 out of 5 stars

The reviews for this book are correct! July 7, 2006
319 out of 359 found this review helpful

I have been a fan of the Anita Blake series for 4 - 5 years, and am eager to read each new book. But, I have to agree with most of the reviews written about Danse Macabre. Anita's job, personality, and interaction with her friends were the things that made these books so engaging. The passion and sex in the earlier books were part of the overall plot, and gave insights into Anita, her partner(s), and their relationship. Danse Macabre, however, is a number of sex scenes poorly held together with a very thin plot.

If you are a big Anita Blade fan, you will still probably want to read Danse Macabre, but borrow it or wait for the paperback.

1 out of 5 stars

One more hammer blow to the stake in the heart of a series I loved October 24, 2006
232 out of 240 found this review helpful

I remember when this series was great. Not just good, not just very good, but simply great. Sure the first two books were a little rough in character and writing style. However, the characters were interesting, the setup was clever, and the A-line police work plots made an excellent framework for the B-line character development. By book three, the series had hit its stride and was simply a great fantasy series. Then, it stumbled. The sex became a larger part of the books and the characters became less and less interesting. I don't mind the sex but, as a previous reviewer has said, it's poorly done sex. There's no erotica, no sensuality, just a detailed step by step list in prose form of the steps Anita takes to screw one of her many lovers. It's a sexual flowchart and bores me to tears.

Beyond that, the non-sex parts are beginning to feel tacked on to the rest of the story. The ballet here was occasionally mentioned but didn't happen until the end and frankly is a pretty thin A-line plot. Where are the detective stories that made the series interesting?

I used to like the personal relationships but that time has passed. Anita is so screwed up right now she's just boring and one gets the impression that if Ms. Hamilton could find a way to get rid of Richard without screwing up the trinity, she would. I would enthusiastically recommend that she do so and let Richard eat a bullet and stop bothering the reader (and Anita) with his constant whining.

What really has ruined the series for me is Anita, which is quite unfortunate as she is the main character! Where before she was a somewhat screwed up woman, always up against superior enemies but surviving because of her strength she is now an uber-powerful monster with a new major power appearing in every book. She has also become a completely selfish, rigid, and unattractive sociopath, which kind of hurts her appeal. What amuses me greatly is how all of these men fall in love with her on sight because she is (so we're constantly told) a wonderful woman who always cares about her lovers's happiness who also happens to be hot with a large chest. The physical attributes might be true, the mental ones certainly aren't. She will only accept a relationship with a man if he does exactly as he is told, never steps out of bounds, and serves whatever role Anita demands. In return, he gets great sex. That's it. The only thing that she offers is fantastic sex, which makes her into a parody of the stereotype where an attractive woman who "puts out" when needed can be completely self-involved and have men want her. She doesn't offer compassion (unless it involves some form of sex), understanding (unless it involves some form of sex), support (unless it involves some form of sex), compromise (unless on a rare occasion it involves some form of sex), or anything that raises love beyond the purely physical. In short, she better pray that the ardeur stays with her because if she ever loses the ability to bring men lots of pleasure, she'll be living in an apartment with 30 cats.

1 out of 5 stars

My, how the mighty have fallen! September 2, 2006
104 out of 106 found this review helpful

Having read and been disappointed with Laurell K. Hamilton's latest work, I swore I'd never buy any more of her books. Well, I checked this one out of the library, so I spent none of my money, but even so I feel as though I've been robbed from time I could have spent reading something better. Danse Macabre is a dismal excuse for a novel. You get the impression that the author has either given up on the series or is too lazy to conjure up a decent and cohesive plot. And why should she make the effort when people continue to buy her books? I often devote the first paragraph of my reviews to summarizing the plot, so here goes. Anita Blake, the so-called vampire executioner and animator, might be pregnant and has no idea who the father could be. There's also something about a dance ball involving some powerful vampire Masters of the City. Oh, and more fighting between Anita and Richard. There is a new powerful vampire in town and we meet some mermaids. And there's sex. Lots of (extremely boring) sex. The end.

All of that stuff is thrown into this book without any real sense of a story or pretty much a point to anything. There is no plot in this book. There is, however, variations of the same ol' same ol' sex scenes that make trashy, low-budget porn movies seem like works of art in comparison. Sometimes I think the author opens up a file containing a previously written sex scene and all she does is change the setting and its characters and voila! A book has been written! I had hoped to read about vampire politics and the Mother of all Darkness to see if Hamilton had developed what she'd started in Cerulean Sins, but all I read was graphic, acrobatic sex scenes involving a variety of different positions, as if Hamilton wants to impress her readers with her knowledge of the Kama Sutra. (Not impressed.) I don't just skim those endless sex-filled pages, I skip them altogether. I have no problems with sex in fiction. I am quite the avid erotica reader. I read the most wonderful and explicit novel not so long ago: All U Can Eat by Emma Holly. Holly wrote quite a delectable novel that had palatable sex scenes mixed in with a compelling plot -- something LKH has failed to do. But that's beside the point. I began to read this series because of its fantasy element, not for the erotica. There is also a lot of conversations in this novel. Everyone analyzes everything. The men discuss Anita's many complexities (please!). The talking and analyzing were so long, tedious and repetitive that I wanted to scream. Anyway, as for the other aspects of the novel, Hamilton had some interesting bits and pieces that could have made remarkable plot points, but I'm afraid that none of it was developed in a plausible way. The vampire ballet thing, though it reminded me of Anne Rice's Interview with the Vampire, seemed interesting and promising, but I was sorely disappointed with the results. The mermaids also seemed like a fascinating new breed in this series, but again, they were underdeveloped. As for the characters, they are hardly worth mentioning. Hamilton has made some serious character assassinations that began with Narcissus in Chains. Jean-Claude, my once favorite vampire, is now a big bore, just another one in Anita's long string of effeminate, clingy and whiny lovers. Richard's inability to accept Anita's lifestyle and his own demons have been brought up again and again ad nauseam and I just don't care anymore. Nathaniel has become brazen in this book, telling Ronnie off when she makes a nasty remark. I had to wonder when he had suddenly grown a couple of you-know-whats because this behavior seemed very unlike the Nathaniel I'd read about in the other books. And it's just as well that Edward has been MIA since Obsidian Butterfly. Anita will probably screw him and turn him into another one of her devoted men in any event. Whatever. I can't muster the energy to care about this series anymore. Then why am I writing a review of it, you ask? Because I feel the need to snark to my heart's content after wasting time reading this train wreck. I will definitely check out the costumer reviews before I ever attempt to pick up another Anita Blake, Vampire Humper novel. I'll just reread her earlier stuff from now on.

1 out of 5 stars

Soap Opera Grandstanding June 29, 2006
95 out of 114 found this review helpful

Another muddled mess of badly written non-stop sex set in a transparent "Mary Sue" wish-fulfillment environment that should appeal to only the most "desperate" of one-handed readers. This series bottomed out log ago and should have retired before embarrassing itself. The concept of plot and story was abandoned by the author and replaced with a poor substitute of soap opera grandstanding promoting alternate-sex lifestyles.

1 out of 5 stars

Porn masquerading as a novel June 29, 2006
76 out of 94 found this review helpful

With Danse Macabre, Anita Blake returns, a shadow of her former self. Her mission isn't to hunt vampires or resurrect zombies anymore, though - it's to nail everything that walks past her in between angsting over her many boyfriends and her possible pregnancy. But the reader's not supposed to see her as irresponsible for not using any form of birth control, or as a childish brat for her argument with Ronnie in the beginning of the book - no, apparently we're all supposed to love her. After all, everyone else does! She knows everything, can copy vampires' abilities if they're used on her, is now apparently the were-queen of everything furry... Hey, she doesn't even need oxygen, if the one sex scene sequence is to be believed! The only thing she can't do is survive without ten or so guys to screw. The people that don't love her are obviously just jealous or stupid.

The inferior editing carries over from Incubus Dreams, this time in the form of grammatical errors and dozens of extra commas. (p355: I licked, kissed, ate, at his mouth, as if the taste of him were a drug, and I needed a fix.) And the plot...is nonexistent. Anita screws people because she wants to, because she loves them all, and because doing so will save the lives of other people she screws and loves. The vampire ballet (which takes a page from the scene in Interview with the Vampire where a girl is tormented by the vampire actors) lasts less than ten pages. The foursome with Micah, Nathaniel, and Jean-Claude lasts about twenty. The sex scenes are what a reader should expect: repetitive to the point that they're boring when they're even physically possible. Everyone screams and writhes almost constantly throughout them, everything is perpetually wet and tight, and everyone throws their heads back and has multiple orgasms. Half the time there's a group standing around watching. Then they talk or think about sex until it's time for the next scene to start.

This book is not fantasy. This book is not about a strong female character, no matter that she keeps piling on new powers, titles, and abilities. This book is a shoddy attempt at erotica, with a little bit of conversation and people admiring Anita in between sex scenes to pretend there's something of a story. If you want badly written and repetitive porn, go ahead and buy it. If you like fangirling over a ridiculously perfect and powerful character whose only purpose is to have sex, this is the book for you. But if you want something of a plot to fill out those few hundred pages, try elsewhere.

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