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| The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family | 
 enlarge | Author: Dan Savage
Publisher: Plume
Category: Book
List Price: $15.00
Buy New: $4.58
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Avg. Customer Rating:  28 reviews
Sales Rank: 223318
Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 304
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.6
Dimensions (in): 7.8 x 5.3 x 0.8
ISBN: 0452287634
Dewey Decimal Number: 305
EAN: 9780452287631
ASIN: 0452287634
Publication Date: September 26, 2006
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Product Description
In a time when much of the country sees red whenever the subject of gay marriage comes up, Dan Savageoutspoken author of the column Savage Love makes it personal.
Dan Savages mother wants him to get married. His boyfriend, Terry, says no thanks because he doesnt want to act like a straight person. Their six-year-old son DJ says his two dads arent allowed to get married, but that hed like to come to the reception and eat cake. Throw into the mix Dans straight siblings, whose varied choices form a microcosm of how Americans are approaching marriage these days, and you get a rollicking family memoir that will have everyonegay or straight, right or left, single or marriedhowling with laughter and rethinking their notions of marriage and all it entails. BACKCOVER: Hilarious, heartfelt.
Seattle Post-Intelligencer
As funny as David Sedariss essay collections, but bawdier and more thought-provoking.
Publishers Weekly (starred review)
Most of all, a book about creating and appreciating family.
Seattle Times
I think America would be a better place if everyone on every side of the gay marriage debate would read this book.
Ira Glass, host of the public radio show This American Life
The strongest argument here, which [Savage] brilliantly plays down, is that family means everything to these people: married, not married, blended, gay, straight, whatever.
The Washington Post
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| Customer Reviews: Read 23 more reviews...
 Wake-Up Call October 1, 2005
48 out of 48 found this review helpful
Dan Savage's new book examines the notion of gay marriage and whether or not it's a good thing -- not just for the USA, that is, but also for Dan Savage himself and his partner of 10 years, Terry.
Part introspective memoir, and part tirade against dinosaur-minded virtuecrats currently behind the wheel in Washington D.C., "The Commitment" is at all times an energetic wake-up call questioning just what it is that drove eleven (mostly) red states to pass "anti-gay marriage" Constitutional amendments last November. Savage is strongly in favor of gay marriage in general, while not sure whether he himself wants to marry. This give the book the dimensions it needs to succeed.
The best chapters are "Blue", in which Savage looks at the current political state of this country, while casting a hopeful eye at nearby Canada; and "Two Moments of Transcendent Bliss". Followers of Savage will know that he and Terry jointly adopted a son who is now a skateboarding metalhead 6 year-old. In this latter chapter, Savage has to explain to his son what it is to be gay, and what it is to be married. If you can't make it through that chapter without being swayed by the pro-marriage argument, then none of the rest of this book is going to work for you.
I'll admit that while I'm something of a left-winger, my views have never swayed as far to the left as the death-to-Israel politics of NYC's alternative weekly "The Village Voice", where I first discovered the "Savage Love" column. I also had no strong opinion on gay marriage until last year, when I took sides during the run-up to the Presidential election. By the end of "The Commitment", I did have to question why I remained undecided on the issue for so long.
Savage's writing is 100% partisan and 100% persuasive, and he is most certainly not one of (to quote another recent partisan screed) one of the 100 people ruining America.
For Any With An Opinion On Gay Marriage October 4, 2005
30 out of 32 found this review helpful
How do I effectively convey my feelings after reading this book? First off I am so glad it's been written. So glad that there is something that can be put into other people's hands that examines this ridiculous opposition to gay marriage with a sense of humor, heart, and a little thing called facts. (Something the Christian right likes to forget about in their pursuit of oh so compassionate discrimination.) What I love about the book is he doesn't moralize, and tell anyone what they should do, instead it's simply the journey that he and his boyfriend Terry go through. That process manages to create a myriad of viewpoints that structures much of the book's backbone, from his pressuring Mother, to his brother adopting a somewhat "gay lifestyle" in regards to co-habitating with his girlfriend, and their somewhat open relationship.
My son is two and it can be incredibly frustrating and sad listening to these Bible Thumping Red State Imbeciles spouting just plain lies in the name of Jesus to create a political victory. Luckily this book was a reminder that regardless of what careless and nasty things have been said or will continue to be said about gays and their rights to marriage and children, love is ultimately what makes a family. Love makes a commitment, and sometimes that's loud enough to drown out all the other white noise.
Savage gives same sex marriage debates his personal touch October 6, 2005
12 out of 13 found this review helpful
In this sequel to the absorbing "The Kid", Dan Savage takes readers on the harrowing first-person journey which he and his family undergo. Their family attempted to secure the benefits which are being guaranteed to other monogamous couples only because we are straight--and they are not.
Savage knows where he and his family stand under the law. Yet, this writing style works when and how it does precisely because Savage does not loose any audience through academic jargon.
His fluid and honest text works because it provides facts about how these policies are adversely hurting real families. He wants the largest number of people possible to recognize their own stake in the issue, pick up a copy of the book, and immediately understand it.
While Savage is explaining things to his son, I practically started crying. Yes, invoking kids with causes (either for or against) is a 'traditional' appeal, but none of the self-appointed family protectors railing against same sex marriage is apparently concerned with what knowing that his family is being discriminated against will do to this boy.
I honestly believe that same-sex marriage restrictions stand to damage Savage's son much more than having monogamous and committed parents who just happen to be gay.
This book is a good read for people working in the trenches against horribly misnamed 'pro-family' marriage amendments and also those people who are uncomfortable with same sex marriage bans but do not feel they know enough about the issue to be 'activist'.
Another winner from the Savage. September 29, 2005
11 out of 11 found this review helpful
In April 2001 the book group I belong to read Savage's "The Kid (What Happened After my Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant): An Adoption Story," and we haven't shut up about it since. Thus, I was really jazzed to read this new book about the pressures being brought to bear on Savage and his longtime companion Terry to tie-the-knot. He has an uncanny ability to communicate all of the various emotions that he and Terry experience as they go through the process of deciding if marriage is right for them, as well as those of their six year-old son and Savage's surprisingly supportive Catholic mother.
Savage is, above all, a very talented, very funny writer. Known for his blistering attacks on the Radical Right, this book features a generous amount of acerbic comments and oberservations. The majority of Savage's vitriol is reserved for the absurd rationales the Right uses to bully and marginalize gays and lesbians and our relationships. He calls attention to the hypocrisy of people such as Rush Limbaugh, who has been married four times, yet has the unmitigated temerity to claim that gays are incapable of monogamous, long-term relationships.
Just as he did in "The Kid," Savage has managed to put a very human face on these very real, very gay people. He has created a book with a genuine universal appeal that manages to perfectly illustrate why same-sex couples deserve equal status under the law. A whole slew of books on this topic have been published in recnt years, and though the only one I've read is Andrew Sullivan's "Same-Sex Marriage Pro & Con: A Reader," I can't imagine that any of the others are as personal, poignant, hilarious or accessible as this book.
Savage at his simplest and BEST! September 27, 2005
10 out of 10 found this review helpful
LOVED the book. Bought it on Saturday and didn't go to bed until I finished it.
It's a great read and one that I intend to pass on to my parents, boyfriends parents, and all of our siblings.
Or maybe Dan would prefer that I let them all buy their own copies.
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