For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women

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Editorial Reviews:

Product Description
Finally?You Can Understand Her!

Women: complicated and impossible to understand? Do you love and want to please the woman in your life, but just can’t seem to figure her out? That was before For Men Only. Now at your fingertips is the tool that will unlock the secret to her mysterious ways. Through hundreds of interviews and the results of a scientific national survey of women, this book demonstrates that women are actually not random and that they really can be systematized and “mapped.” In fact, much to men’s delight, this book shows that women are actually quite easy to understand and please?as long as you know what it is they need. This simple map will guide you to loving your wife or girlfriend in the way she needs to be loved.

Finally.

You Can Understand Her!

Women: complicated and impossible to understand? Have you given up trying to “get” the woman in your life? If so, you are in for a pleasant eye-opener: She can be understood. Even better?you can make her happy. Which will make you happy.

The bestselling author of For Women Only teams with her husband to offer men the key to unlocking the mysterious ways of women. Through Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn ’s national scientific survey and hundreds of interviews, For Men Only reveals what you can do today to improve your relationship. And believe it or not, as Jeff assures men, “It’s not splitting the atom.”

What makes her tick? What is she really asking (but not actually saying)? Take the guesswork out of trying to please your wife or girlfriend and begin loving her in the way she needs. Easily. For Men Only is a straightforward map that will lead you straight into her heart.

And for every guy who rarely reads a manual:

Quick-Start Guide Included!

“When we featured Shaunti’s book For Women Only on FamilyLife Today , the phone rang off the hook! When Shaunti and Jeff come back on our broadcast, I’m buying some more phones. This is fresh and relevant?good stuff for every marriage. Read it!”

Dennis Rainey

President, FamilyLife

Story Behind the Book

“As I was writing For Women Only to help women understand the inner lives of men, over and over I heard that men wished there was a way to understand their wives, but they felt it was probably impossible. I heard from them, ?You are writing this little slim volume about men, but if it was about understanding women, it would have to be the size of an encyclopedia! Women are random and complicated!’ These men were surprised and encouraged when I assured them that women are neither random nor complicated, and we can be understood. Men just want to love their wives well, and For Men Only will help them do that.”

?Shaunti Feldhahn

Customer Reviews: Read 92 more reviews...

5 out of 5 stars

Keeping Your Woman Happy...this book has great advice June 9, 2006
62 out of 67 found this review helpful

"It's a huge shocker to talk to hundreds of women and find that while financial security is nice, it isn't nearly as important to them as feeling emotionally secure - feeling close and confident that you will be there for her no matter what." ~ pg. 17

If you are reading this book and your wife is reading "for women only," you may be in for a lovely time if you talk about the issues. By reading the "for women" and "for men" books, my husband and I finally sorted out the basis of our differences.

These books can at first cause more problems than they solve because as problems surface and you put names to the issues, things can get worse. A few days later, you may find your relationship on a better path and renewal setting in. The ideas almost require you to put pride aside and set to work on the real issues facing every relationship.

The chapters include:

Rethinking Random - Great information on how women want to feel emotionally secure. I could not agree more. If you don't feel loved, it is difficult to be motivated to respond. Respond and Respect seems to go hand in hand when loved.

The Deal is Never Closed - "Buried inside most women- even those in great relationships-is a latent insecurity about whether their man really loves them."

Windows...Open! - How women multitask and why they may not be able to let go of a grudge. Shows how to work through problems.

Your Real Job Is Closer to Home - Why women said they wouldn't mind their husband making less money if he could spend more time at home.

Listening Is the Solution - Why women sometimes just need to talk it out...excellent
advice. Some of the best I've read yet.

With Sex, Her "No" Doesn't mean You - Romance and what you say might be the key here.

The Girl in the Mirror - Are you really the mirror reflecting back what she wants to hear? As a husband, Jeff Feldhahn has some great wisdom to share.

You could save your marriage or relationship by following the ideas in "for men only." From personal experience, it might be a little dangerous to read each other's books. Only do so if very brave and ready for conflict resolution.

~The Rebecca Review

5 out of 5 stars

Best Book for Understanding Your Wife June 19, 2006
58 out of 67 found this review helpful

As a pastor of 27 years who does a lot of counseling, I wish this book had been written years ago. It clearly and succinctly discusses how women think and what they need from their husbands.

I have read many books about male/female differences (and numerous counseling books), so much of the material here I already knew. I was reading it to determine if I should recommend it to folks I counsel. I was surprised to find useful and practical information here I had never seen before.

For example, I have always known that women could multi-task and divide their attention, unlike men who focus intently upon one thing at a time. But I never knew that women could not help dividing their attention -- computer-like "windows" of thought involuntarily pop up in their minds, "windows" that could not be easily closed. This fact of "thought bombardments from the past" fits the reality I have observed, but I never could put my finger on it before reading this book.

The chapter about sex would help so many men and improve the sex lives of so many couples.

My only objection in the book is that it includes, "significant others," thus implying the legitimacy of live-in relationships. This is atypical for evangelical publishers.

Nonetheless, pastors and Christian couples will benefit greatly from this book.

5 out of 5 stars

A must read... May 1, 2006
33 out of 34 found this review helpful

My wife and I were going to be teaching seperate guys and girls Bible studies this summer. We bought this book, as well as For Women Only, in order to read up some in preparation to teach. We got a lot more than we bargained for.
On the one hand, this book will help neither of us much in preparation for our classes. On the other hand, it is a great book that I think every person should read. We began reading one night together, and almost instantly, our relationship began to improve. We didn't even have a bad relationship, but there's always room for improvement, right?
This book is easily accessible for just about anyone. The writing style is simple to read, and you will move along quickly. There is enough humor to make you chuckle throughout. While there are quite a few statistics, you won't find yourself bogged down in them. The research is done well and fairly unbiased. There are also some very practical things that anyone can do to help improve on their relationship.
My wife and I kept finding ourselves asking each other about the findings in the book. Amazingly enough, "For Men Only" seems to catch the truth about most women (just as "For Women Only" does about men). The writers are Christians (as are my wife and I), but they don't start with Scriptures to base their point. They let the statistics speak for themselves, and it just so happens that many of the results line up with biblical evidence.
All things said, it is a great book. It is a quick and easy read, as well as extremely helpful. If you are in a relationship, you can't afford not to read this book. My only suggestion is this...both partners need to read the volume for them together. It will open amazing dialogue between you.

3 out of 5 stars

S. Arnold January 4, 2007
27 out of 49 found this review helpful

I'm nearly positive that Shaunti wrote the majority of this book (or at least subtly pressed her husband to write what he did) and just evoked her husband's name to give it credibility to guys. Most of the theories are barrowed from her thinking, and that's what gives it such a feminine style. Some of the things they say that women think are ridiculous! But they try to cover their butts by saying that this is only directed towards the majority population, so there are those who "fall between the cracks." (Crack equaling the Grand Canyon, I guess.)

There may be some true points, but mostly things everyone already knows, such as girls liking to be pursued, but some of the stuff is just plain stupid.

If I bring up an issue to my husband, I want a freakin' solution. I want real and objective input, not some washed up psychology baloney like, "Oh, it's so sweet when he sits there and says little this's or that's and just affirms me in my emotional giftings." More like emotional un-temperance.

Yes, the Bible tells husbands to love their wives, but that does not mean encouraging bad habits. Yacking is a bad habit, believe it or not, and the Bible tells women that we are to be emotionally sober and even "quiet." It's like they're trying to tell men to basically promote gossiping, (which truly is at least 50% of what most women waste their breath and time on [their husband's time too,]) and once they've done that she'll be ready to jump all over him. Give me a break. What really turns a girl on is a man acting with honor, courage, and commitment, but too often the women are busy stealing the pants that the guys aren't even given a chance to show their character qualities. It makes me sick that so many men buy into this new age WUSSIFICATION. I love that my husband is a macho warrior type. (Semper Fi) I can't stand men (who are really only being manipulated by naive women) advising husbands that all they need to do is find and get comfortable with their feminine side. Hello!! Newsflash! My husband found his feminine side when he found me. Enough said.

5 out of 5 stars

Very in-depth, we loved it! June 26, 2006
22 out of 24 found this review helpful

I'm a woman, and I read "For Women Only" first. In fact, I read that book several times, started to apply it, told my boyfriend about it, and then asked him if he'd like to read "For Men Only." He happily agreed. I first read the book (constantly thinking, "You mean, men don't know that!?!") while I also marked how I would have answered the survey questions. My boyfriend has now read this book several times and has started to apply it. He says he loves how I treat him (using information from "For Women Only") and I'm in bliss right now from his efforts to apply what he learned in "For Men Only." I've read other books on similar subjects, but none really get to the heart of the issues like these two little books. Thanks so much for writing them!

Update: Men (and women!), please don't think you're an expert on your mate just because you read this book several times. It's a great book, but listen if someone tells you that a part doesn't strongly apply to them! Believe me, most women would love this, but I'm getting sick and tired of being told I'm so beautiful and rock my boyfriend's world. That was never an issue for me and hearing this two or three times every time we interact is making the words lose all meaning to me, but my boyfriend won't stop because "it's in the book!"

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