The darkest part of the South she covers, even if she does so with a grin, is the violence. A third of the nation's population lives in the South, and they commit 42% of all homicides. Serious crime has risen in the South, where it has gone down nationally. A simple explanation: "We shoot more people because we have the most guns." Elvis Presley took guns when he visited the White House. "I'm sure he didn't even think about it. He's going out, he's got his guns." When her father visited her in her apartment in New Orleans, he failed to mention the high ceilings or the fancy plasterwork or mantels. His one housewarming comment: "You need to get a gun." The title of the book comes from a turtle race, an annual event known as the Lepanto Terrapin Derby. Turtles race on a sixty foot course for an exciting fifteen minutes. There is a festival surrounding the event, and the climactic crowning of the Turtle Derby Queen. The South has such royalty all over, not just the traditional beauty pageant queens, but the Catfish Queen, Poultry Princess, Miss Pink Tomato or monarch over some other local point of pride. Southerners drink, and there is a chapter here on the bizarre history of Mississippi prohibition which included bootleggers of illegal whiskey paying legal taxes to ply their trade. Southerners eat. Personifying Southern hospitality, Reed gives here the recipes for George Jones Sausage Balls, which she got from the country singer himself, for that strange Southern misnomer the frozen tomato, and for fried chicken, although it won't be as good fried chicken as that from her own cook, Lottie Martin.

There is, appropriately, a good deal about religion, too, including the story about the Arkansas governor who refused to sign a tornado relief bill because it referred to the tornado as an "act of God," and his God would never have done anything like that. Perhaps, as Reed points out, he needed refreshing on the earlier books of the Bible. Reed herself says that in New Orleans, there are mosquitoes, caterpillars with spines that are toxic even when the caterpillar is dead, feral hogs digging up the levees that protect the city, and indestructible Formosan termites that have bigger colonies and bigger appetites than the normal ones and can eat through mortar. She used to say that living there is like living in the Old Testament. She has realized, though, that "the plagues of Egypt lasted only seven days. Ours never end." And may the South as she so amusingly describes it here, silly, tradition-bound, patrician, vicious, and gracious, never end as well.


Not so funny...   January 4, 2005
 9 out of 20 found this review helpful

Well, having recently finished Celia Rivenbark's 'We're Just Like You Only Prettier', which was very amusing, I figured this book would be similar to that one. The reviews said it was very humorous, and entertaining. I'm sorry, but I do not agree. Julia Reed is a Vogue writer living in New York City, but she's from Mississippi. Now, I felt that at times when describing the silly ways of the southern women's traditions, it was almost like she was making fun of them. But then when she would bash the Yankees (which I happen to be, and am darn proud of it) she was all for her southern heritage.

I love southern books, and I've always had this fascination with the south. I truly hope one day to live there when my husband retires. I have always admired southern women, their traditions, their tight family bonds, and the land itself. Ms. Reed made these women sound ditsy, and shallow, while making us Yankees sound like ignorant, clueless slobs. And she made the area (the south) sound like pure hell to live in.

I gave this 2 stars because there were some interesting facts in it, and some of the events that go on down there were really neat to learn about, and all the food she talked about, sounds delicious! But overall I'd just like to forget this book. It has in no way changed my opinion of southern men and women, or the south itself, and I can only hope they don't look at the Yankees the same way Julia Reed does. If you're looking for a funny book on the 'ways of the south', pick up Ms. Rivenbarks book, that one won't disappoint.


Tremendously Fun Read, HOWEVER...   June 4, 2004
 8 out of 11 found this review helpful

I LOVED this book. It was so much fun to read, and it was educational in places. Unfortunately, it was also VERY MISLEADING to anyone who does not have personal knowledge of the South. (I speak from the vantage point of being a native of Memphis, Tennessee for fifty-five years.)

The author repeatedly makes blanket statements about the South as though we were all just alike. Over and over she begins with "Southerners...." and then she goes on to imply we all carry or at least own a gun, set our tables with a gun, have very little regard for the ideals of truth and justice, and have no intellectual curiosity. Granted, there are many Southerners who do indeed fit this profile, but neither I, nor many of my friends, deserve this description. In addition, unlike the author, we consider cock fighting to be cruel and inhumane.

I shudder to think what someone from another region of the country will think when reading this book. I only hope they are wise enough to realize this is just one aspect of the South, not a balanced picture of all its people. Julia Reed has given the impression that we are ALL a bunch of ignorant rednecks. I fully understand that in order to write an entertaining book such as this one, one must focus on the nuts and the crooks, but the continued practice of stating that "Southerners......" and going on to write about only the least enlightened Southerners, is hardly what one would expect from someone who claims to love the South.

Read this book and enjoy it, but please remember it's just one aspect of a complicated region.


So real I kept thinking I was reading about my own life   February 13, 2005
 8 out of 8 found this review helpful

Wow, where do I start? I read this book in one sitting and laughed and cried while I was at it. Being from Arkansas myself, I cannot tell you how many times I have heard, "What would people think?" It was a mantra in my household, particularly when I was trying to do something as outrageous as leaving the house without lipstick. I turned about every other page over to show my husband later, so he would understand me better!

I felt Ms. Reed presented both sides of the South well... the backward (and oft times embarrassing) ways, and the strong traditions and attitudes that make a real (positive) difference in a person's life. I bought it for my mom and her three sisters, as I knew they would laugh as hard as I did at how she nailed so many aspects of Southerners. I've also given this book to several young women, as I think it portrays the strength of Southern women. Ms. Reed finally gave me a way of explaining to blue-state Northerners (where I live now) why I'm so proud of being Southern.


High Fashion meets brainpower   May 11, 2004
 7 out of 8 found this review helpful

Vogue Senior writer Julia Reed mesmorizes with her perspective on life in the deep south. Not only is this book interesting, it is the real thing. Julia grew up in the heart of the Mississippi Delta, which might be seen as the south on steroids. This book is six hours of literary happiness in a lovely package.