To his credit, Dr. Sears does provide some good practical advice on some childrearing issues, which is why I would give it 2 stars. However, I find the overall tone of this to be extremely patronizing and to be totally dismissive of the fact that fathers are sometimes the primary caregivers to children. This book has a very strong bias towards the traditional mom-stays-at-home-and-father-goes-to-work household. If some families decide to follow this template, by no means would I criticize them for following what they believe to be the best for their children and families. I do not have a bias against this.

However, what I am also rather upset about (in addition to my relegation to a secondary role in my child's upbringing) is Dr. Sears' subtle and backhanded criticism of as well as lack of support for families that do not follow the traditional route. Given his pediatric practice, the number of books that he has written, the boards that he is on, it is obvious that Dr. Sears himself has devoted very little time personally to the raising of his children and instead, has given the majority of the child-rearing duties to his wife. Despite being an RN, I cannot believe that Mrs. Sears worked much professionally, given that she is the primary caregiver for 8 children.

Being a physician myself, I know that there is no way that Dr. Sears can accomplish all of his professional duties and discharge all of his responsibilities and still have a great deal of time for directly caring for his children. Personally, I chose to take a position where I could cut back on the number of days that I work so that I could take care of my daughter while my wife can pursue her career as well as be a good mother. This arrangement has worked well for all of us. But had I not reassured my wife that it would work out, she would have had a huge amount of unneccessary guilt engendered by this book with its biases and hidden agenda. I feel sorry for mothers and families that read this book, didn't have the options that we had, and felt incredible guilt that they were somehow shortchanging their children. Perhaps Dr. Sears' family does not need two incomes, but I know many families do (an idea he pooh-poohs on page 374)and they make hard choices. The last thing that these families need is an authority figure that either openly and subtly disapproves of their choices.


Mixed Review   July 8, 1997
 506 out of 658 found this review helpful

Dr. Sears' book contains valuable discussions of contemporary parenting issues that cannot be found in other standard parenting books, including a comprehensive discussion of breastfeeding techinques and chapters on "baby-wearing" (using a sling) and on "nighttime parenting," including sharing a bed with your baby. As first time parents interested in these subjects, we found the book very useful.

Unfortunately, the book is marred by three serious flaws. First, Dr. Sears -- although including frequent mention of the role of fathers (which many books do not) -- appears to believe in the "natural" primacy of the mother-baby relationship. Our baby's father felt quite slighted by many of Dr. Sears' comments in this regard. Further, Dr. Sears' views simply do not reflect reality in many modern households. In a similar vein, Dr. Sears' book contains a strong subtext that it would be better for the child if its mother did not work outside of the home. Second, Dr. Sears is rather cavalier in his use of medical studies. When they support his theories, he refers to them extensively without mentioning contrary studies and results, no matter how well-accepted. When study results do not support Dr. Sears' views, he tosses them aside by suggesting that one can find a study to support any theory. Third, Dr. Sears' tone is so didactic that the parent who chooses not to follow his advice runs the risk of feeling guilty.

In short, the book contains valuable advice that cannot be easily found elsewhere, but the first-time parent would be wise to take Dr. Sears with a grain of salt!


A Classic. Independent Free-Thinking Mind Required.   June 25, 2002
 97 out of 112 found this review helpful

There is not much that one can say that hasn't already been said. This book has stood the test of time; other know-it-all one-size-fits-all infant care books have not.

One observation that I have made is that you will not find this book promoted by popular baby stores such as "Babies R Us". Having visited many branches of such stores, I have never seen this book promoted in the book section. It dawned on me why. Dr. Sears' approach is decisively anti-consumerist. He strongly recommends breast feeding - nothing to buy here. He strongly recommends co-sleeping - no crib or sheets to buy. He recommends the use of a baby sling or baby carrier - OK, you can find such items at "Babies R Us", but this is meant as a replacement for a much more expensive stroller.

Bottom line: following the recommendations in this book means going against the grain set by product-dispensing corporations that are the center of a society centered around consumption. Read this book and think long and hard about what you believe and what you value in the role of a parent, and tune out all the noise around you including well-meaning family members.


Vastly overrated   April 1, 1999
 87 out of 126 found this review helpful

What makes "The Baby Book" different from many other equally comprehensive baby care books is the authors unrelenting advocacy of what they call "attachment parenting". The Sears' claims for "attachment parenting" are hyperbolic and the reader's reaction to many of their assertions may well range from skepticism to alarm. The Sears' identify the 5 AP concepts as 1) connecting with the baby early, 2) reading and responding to your baby's cues, 3) breastfeeding, 4) wearing your baby and 5) sharing sleep with your baby. According to Sears, adherence to these principles will "improve behavior, development and intelligence." New fathers who had hoped to play an active role with the new baby will find that their role is different than they had hoped: According to Sears, "[T]he father's role is to create a supportive environment that allows the mother to devote *her* energy to the baby" and "Father's job is to nurture the mother so that *she* can nurture the baby" (Emphasis added). On a section regarding bottlefeeding a breastfed child, Sear suggests that the mother enlist the help of an experienced bottleffeding grandmother or bottlefeeding friend to give the bottle--the possibility that Dad might want to feed his child is curiously omitted. But perhaps not so curious after all--Dad is given pretty short shrift throughout the book, particularly in the chapter on "Nighttime Parenting". "The Baby Book" is full of paragraphs that begin "Studies show" --unfortunately there are no citations to any of these studies and the lack of citations leaves the reader wondering. For example, at one point he writes of a study that contrasted 2 groups of children, one "securely attached" and one not. The reader might well wonder how "securely attached" was defined and determined. This question crops up throughout the book,particularly when Sears speaks of his own "surveys"-- his biases are so evident thoughout the book that it is hard to much stock in the objectivity of any of his "surveys." The zealousness of the authors in their advocacy of breastfeeding is obvious, however it doesn't excuse their discussion of bottlefeeding. Despite spending 72 pages of the book discussing the benefits of breastfeeding, the Sears cannot resist pening up the (extremely short) bottlefeeding chapter with this comment: "Do infants thrive on formula? Formula fed infants appear to grow normally, but the question is not only do infants grow but do they thrive? Thriving takes growth a step further: growing and developing to an infant's fullest potential. This is an unanswered, perhaps unanswerable question." This is an astonishing statement. Has Sears really never seen an infant who has "thrived" on formula? Amazing if true, since I personally know of quite a few. And the "unanswerable" nature of his rhetorical question is one that can be applied to many of Sears' assertions. One of the most troubling sections in the book concerns mothers with HIV and breastfeeding. This section is buried in the back of the book, instead of included, as one would expect, in the chapters on breastfeeding. Sears acknowledges that HIV can be passed through breastmilk , but then states that there have been cases where babies have not contracted the virus through breastfeeding. Instead of an unequivocal NO to breastfeeding when the mother is infected with HIV, he simply concludes that the mother should discuss it with her doctor. The chapter on "Nighttime Parenting" is predictable. The Sears advocate what they call "shared sleeping." They have little patience with concerns that many parents consider to be significant--inability to sleep with a baby in bed, the affect of co-sleeping on the couple's relationship, etc. As always, a false dichotomy is set up between the responsive "attached" mother and the "detached" mother. The Sears apparently cannot countenance that it is possible for parents to be very attached to their children but to also want them to sleep on their own because they truly believe that it is best for their children. For that matter, the dichotomy of "attached" parent v. "detached" parent is set up, both explicitly and implicity, in just about every discussion of the Sears 5 attachment "concenpts". "The Baby Book" also raises a lot of questions. The Sears claims that when a mother breastfeeds, "wears" (with a sling), and shares sleep with her baby, that the baby will inevitable grow up to be a more empathetic, sensitive and caring adult. If so, then how to explain the genocidal tragedies of recent years in Rwanda, Liberia, Somalia and other countries where the vast majority of babies are bfreastfed, worn and slept with? Shouldn't it be obvious that there are many other factors that are vastly more significant than how a baby is fed and where it sleeps? And aren't there millions of happy, healthy children (and adults) who are very attached to their parents and families, despite not being raised by the Sears AP tenets? Unfortunately, these are questions that the Sears apparently cannot discuss objectively.


What a relief!   October 21, 2000
 86 out of 96 found this review helpful

To read a book that reinforces my instincts! I am only sorry I did not buy this book in the first few weeks of motherhood. I read books that gave all kinds of advice that just didn't seem right. I have never let my baby "cry it out" even though parents, in-laws, and grandparents have all at some point told me I'm spoiling my child. At five months old, she is happy, well adjusted, and easily falls asleep on her own. Mothers and fathers take note-attachment parenting works!! I can actually sense how much trust my baby has in me. This book will be especially helpful to parents of colicky babies. It replaces the feelings of frustration and helplessness with compassion and understanding. I read a few negative reviews from those who found the Dr. Sears to be extreme. Attachment parenting can be incorporated into every lifestyle. I'm a stay at home Mom, but I don't ALWAYS wear my baby in a sling. And though I slept with her for the first few months, she now sleeps in her crib, and takes a morning nap with me. It's just a matter of knowing your baby and following his/her cues rather than following some ridiculous formula that is supposed to work for all babies. Yes, the book almost always puts the baby first. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? Every aspect of parenting should be cherished rather than looked upon as an inconvenience. For those who truly want to bond with their babies-this is the book for you! And just a note to new, first time moms: I spent many nights in the first few weeks crying right along with my colicky baby. So many well-meaning moms gave me advice. Because I was new at the whole thing, I always doubted myself. Was I ever going to have a happy baby? Was she ever going to sleep through the night? What was I doing wrong? Well, any mom who has practiced attachment parenting for a few months will tell you this. After a few weeks, when friends and family tell you you're holding the baby too much, you're spoiling the baby too much, you should let the baby "cry it out" instead of feeling unsure, you will laugh to yourself. Because you'll know inside. You'll know that the parents who are not wearing their babies, not holding their babies, not soothing their babies, not cuddling through the night with their babies, are really missing out on moments they'll never have again. That's when you'll know how wonderful attachment parenting is.