|
| I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids: Reinventing Modern Motherhood | 
 enlarge | Authors: Trisha Ashworth, Amy Nobile
Publisher: Chronicle Books
Category: Book
List Price: $18.95
Buy Used: $4.98
You Save: $13.97 (74%)
New (38) Used (29) Collectible (1) from $4.98
Avg. Customer Rating:  62 reviews
Sales Rank: 3278
Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 240
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.9
Dimensions (in): 9.1 x 6.3 x 1
ISBN: 081185650X
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.8743
EAN: 9780811856508
ASIN: 081185650X
Publication Date: April 19, 2007
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Condition: Domestic deliveries shipped with a delivery confirmation. There is an ink mark on the title page. The text pages are free of writing. There is some wear and soiling on the cover and edges. h3
|
| Similar Items:
|
| Editorial Reviews:
Product Description
"I don't know how she does it!" is an oft-heard refrain about mothers today. Funnily enough, most moms agree they have no idea how they get it done, or whether they even want the job. Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile spoke to mothers of every stripe working, stay-at-home, part-time and found a surprisingly similar trend in their interviews. After enthusing about her lucky life for twenty minutes, a mother would then break down and admit that her child's first word was "Shrek." As one mom put it, "Am I happy? The word that describes me best is challenged." Fresh from the front lines of modern motherhood comes a book that uncovers the guilty secrets of moms today . . . in their own words. I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids diagnoses the craziness and offers real solutions, so that mothers can step out of the madness and learn to love motherhood as much as they love their kids.
|
| Customer Reviews: Read 57 more reviews...
 Some true, some funny.... A LOT hypocritical July 24, 2007
94 out of 115 found this review helpful
There were some really good things to this book and some of the quotes from mothers and personal scenarios really hit home for me. The quizzes at the beginning of the chapters while at the beginning were funny, later just made me irate. I bought the book because of the great reviews and because the title alone hit home for me. It is NOT a self-help book. I am a counselor and so have read my share of self-help books and as one other reviewer stated most of the advice in here is common sense- we just have a hard time as a group putting it into effect oftentimes.
What really irked me the most, however, was that much of the writing was aimed at a specific target group of mothers, upper or upper-middle class and I will not get into lack of cultural awareness- not to mention the hypocrisy (though I am sure unintended). The constant mention of to work or not to work for mothers, nanny or no nanny, private or public school, organic or non-organic, TV or no TV. Believe it or not, the only of these I have ever had a hard time with is whether or not to work, and it is hard but some of us really have no choice (can't afford a nanny with working, let alone if I were at home as mentioned in the book numerous times). The writing is a lot about how not to let "bitchy" women and comments get to us and not let ourselves feel so judged, when in reality, I felt judged more from much of the writings than I have ever felt by family or friends. I found myself all of a sudden worrying about things that I would have never worried about before (the need to have the "perfect themed" birthday party with all of the "right" decorations and goodie bags?). NOT a book I will be going out and buying for my working, middle classed- though educated, friends and mothers.
Not What I Expected June 6, 2007
35 out of 39 found this review helpful
I bought this book because I saw an interview with the authors on 20/20 and thought that it would be an interesting and funny read. I actually went to my local bookstore and bought it the next day and looked forward to curling up and digesting it from cover to cover. When I started perusing it, I was surprised to find out that it was written in an almost condescending style and tone and was touted as a self-help book. At the beginning of each chapter, it has these lists where you can check off the dumb things that you may have done since being a mother. Also, interspersed throughout the chapters are "Dirty Little Secrets" that the authors share with you. One of them was that the author had "locked her kids in the car not once, not twice, but THREE times" and acted like this fact was entertaining and funny. Sorry, but it was not. Also, they give advice after each chapter like the ever-present and common knowledge fact that "as a mother, you need to take some time for yourself". No kidding! As if these were the first mothers to discover this new tidbit of information! The whole general tone of the book acted like because we were reading the book, that we were dumb and did not know how to balance our lives as mothers, wives, career-woman and friends. I thought it was going to be a funny collection of essays, first-hand accounts of parenting and slices of their lives as mothers that I could relate to, but after finishing the book, I almost felt insulted. The cover of the book looks great, but I would not recommend it at all.
 Not Useful or Uplifting February 20, 2008
34 out of 38 found this review helpful
Maybe it's the timing. I've just read a book on Shant Kenderian's book about his experience getting out of Iraq alive. Then I read this book with ladies whining that middle class life in America with two kids is just so hard and I thought modern moms have lost their perspective.
I read the book because the title was catchy and I thought maybe there were some new insights I could glean. I soon realized that there was a lot of whining and complaining to wade through to get to any helpful advice.
The authors' position is that the problem with modern motherhood is "all the choices." (p. 20) I would suggest the problem with modern mothers is the expectation of being happy (and guilt and expectation-free). Motherhood has many happy moments but the purpose of motherhood is not to make you happy. Jewish author Leo Rosten sums it up best, "I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate. It is, above all to matter, to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all." When we bring another life into this world, we are faced with the needs of someone else supplanting our own. If we allow ourselves to get caught up in "my needs" versus "their needs" we will find ourselves unhappy. If we live like Rosten suggests, we will find some happiness but I think we will also find something more valuable: peace and contentment.
I was also deeply disturbed by the quotes of "I adore my husband BUT..." or "I adore my children BUT..." Would any of us like to read about how someone's love for us is conditional? I love you but I'd love you more if you weren't so time-consuming. We should be telling our husbands and children that we adore them, period. I will take the angst, the hardships, and lousy days because it means I have you and you have enriched my life.
I don't understand the purpose of including the "Dirty Little Secrets" side notes. It would seem to only enable women to further the comparison game ("Well, thank goodness I'm not as bad as her!") Most of the "Secrets" revolve around deceit. Is this the kind of life we want to live?
A lot of mothers quoted in this book do not seem to understand the purpose of children ("I thought having a baby would be like having a pet..." GASP!) I don't pretend to have the answer to that question but one thing I do know is that children are not accessories or a check mark on our "List of Things to Do in Life". Children are not widgets to be produced and marketed but independent thinkers that need guidance and training so they can contribute to society. Children are the refineries of the metal that is your character. With the right attitude, you will be a better person for having been a mother. With the wrong attitude, you're just killing time until the next event.
 Helps you let go of that load of guilt Moms seem to carry around June 1, 2007
22 out of 25 found this review helpful
In spite of the fact that women are juggling a lot, everything from child care to marriages to jobs (and, if they are Baby Boomers, caring for aging parents), there seem to be a huge number of mothers who still feel guilty. Why? What is the upside of that? Could it be...that they have...unrealistic expectations? No one can do it all and manage to pull it off perfectly.
Ashworth lends some much needed perspective and humor to the whole "motherhood in the modern world" quandry. She certainly reduced my stress level and put some much needed perspective into my life. Plus, I was having a heck of a good time reading this book, laughing along the way. Most mothers could benefit from reading this book, ignoring any responsibilities for the day, even (gasp!) ordering takeout so you can have a day to yourself and savor this book.
 funny and comforting without being negative May 20, 2007
18 out of 20 found this review helpful
I really enjoyed this book and gave it to many for Mother's Day. It reminds you that you are not alone in the overwhelming job of being a mother! However, it was not negative and didn't "man bash"--it was refreshing.
|
|
|
Powered by Associate-O-Matic
| |
