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| 365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy | 
 enlarge | Authors: Charla Muller, Betsy Thorpe
Publisher: Berkley Trade
Category: Book
List Price: $14.00
Buy New: $7.70
You Save: $6.30 (45%)
New (39) Used (13) from $7.70
Avg. Customer Rating:  36 reviews
Sales Rank: 12830
Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 288
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.4
Dimensions (in): 8.1 x 5.2 x 0.9
ISBN: 0425222578
Dewey Decimal Number: 306.81092
EAN: 9780425222577
ASIN: 0425222578
Publication Date: June 24, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
Condition: Perfect, never read condition
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Product Description
When Charla Mullers husband turned 40, she gave him something memorable. Sex. Every day. For an entire year.
The Mullers had a solid marriage and two wonderful children, but over the years sex had fallen low on their to-do list. The lack of intimacy wasnt causing them to drift apart, exactly, but their connection didnt seem as great as it could be. Charla decided she couldnt go on pretending the relationship they once had wasnt important.
The couple would embark on a year of scheduled sex, falling over Tonka trucks and piles of laundry in an effort to make time for each other. There were obstacles along the way (work implosions, faking it) and questions came to light. Will sex every day strengthen a marriage, or reveal the cracks? Pull a couple together or drive them apart? Does good sex (even mediocre sex) make up for things that arent so good?
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| Customer Reviews: Read 31 more reviews...
 Couples everywhere need to thank Charla Muller for this gift of a book! June 25, 2008
18 out of 22 found this review helpful
If you haven't heard about this book yet, hold on to your hat. This hilarious, honest, moving account of one woman's "Gift" to her husband of sex everyday for a year is an incredible story. Charla has a wonderful writing style that makes you feel like you are sitting across a table from her with a glass of wine in your hand, sharing all your innermost thoughts with your best friend. Her voice perfectly captures what it is like for many women that have been married for a number of years, with a couple of kids, working inside or outside the home, with a husband around here somewhere and sex not anywhere on that endless to-do list. The topic of sex in a marriage (or lack thereof!) is still somewhat taboo, with a lot of people thinking about it, but no one really willing to talk about it. Thankfully Charla Muller had the courage and the pluck to not only come up with the idea of sex everyday, but to write a witty, enjoyable book about it! (Note: the book is completely G-rated, with a focus on the relationship, not the act itself.) Her honesty and humor provides a great forum for husbands and wives everywhere to talk about "the elephant in the bedroom" and in the process reconnect with one another. Thank you Charla for giving the Gift to Brad and for giving everyone else the gift of your book! Can't wait to read your next one.....
How much fun was that! June 25, 2008
16 out of 20 found this review helpful
After reading this book, it's all my girlfriends and I can talk about. Ms. Muller brings such an enticing, interesting but often taboo subject to light and gives us a chance to all talk about it using she and Mr. Muller as shining examples. While I haven't found many girlfriends willing to give the 365 day gift--I've found a couple willing to think about 40. Thanks to Ms. Muller for bringing her wit, honesty and class to these pages. Even a cynical New Yorker enjoyed her book. I cannot wait to read the next one.
 A chore and a bore August 30, 2008
14 out of 26 found this review helpful
Charla Muller's epigraph for 365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy is from dramatist Jean Anouilh: "To say yes, you have to sweat and roll up your sleeves and plunge both hands into life up to the elbows." Out of its context, Anouilh's quotation summarizes Charla Muller's attitude toward marital sex: It's a chore and a bore. That is why, on the occasion of her husband's 40th birthday, she, in the spirit of self-sacrifice, offers him what she calls "The Gift"--sex every day for the next year. After pages of overwrought mutual analysis about the implications, Brad Muller accepts. In one short chapter, the reader is introduced to what seems to be the most passionless marriage on the planet.
The rest of 365 Nights (give or take a few--mustn't have sex during menstruation, for example) rarely delves into sex or even intimacy, physical or emotional. Our most penetrating look into the Mullers' sex life comes when Charla says, "Wow, that was really nice" (or "yummy") and Brad says, "Could you pretend you're enjoying it?" to which Charla replies, "How 'bout you just close your eyes." Between these flashes of profound love, Charla tirelessly fills the reader in on her rather narrow view of relationships, marriage, parenting, being a working mother (she works two days a week), and how giving her husband what he wants ("The Gift") has somehow made them stronger as a couple. It's not the intimacy itself that seems to bring them closer together, but the sense of sacrifice and the willingness to work to overcome the obstacles--not only Charla's dislike of sex (which she seems to believe she shares with every married mother), but logistics such as work, children, activities, and the need for private time.
Perhaps married women with children who see their husbands as "sperm donors" and "providers," as Charla writes of some of her friends, will relate to her and her view of love, marriage, and life. Undoubtedly, many will find that she validates the sexual ennui that can set in during any long-term relationship. From my single, childless perspective, she offers no insights, not even as to the underlying reasons she makes every effort to avoid sex with the man she loves and why getting ready for sex means, "I just continue lying there" (prompting her husband to say, "Could you pretend you're interested in this?").
When the year of "The Gift" is over, Brad seems happy because he will continue to get sex more frequently (although not every day), and Charla is happy because her husband is more content and her marriage is more solid--and, to me, as free of passion as ever. Charla writes about some of the benefits of sex--it provides exercise and offers improved communication for example (she likes to talk to Brad about the mundane during the act, we learn). She mentions greater emotional intimacy, but she doesn't convey it or what it means. She touches on the surface of the issues, but is unable or is afraid to say anything meaningful beyond the obvious. While she lies back and gives "The Gift," she cannot bring herself to mention that she finds any physical pleasure or emotional joy in the act itself (other than that it's "nice"). She and Brad seem to be well suited to each other, but they could be brother and sister Matthew and Marilla Cuthbert from Anne of Green Gables for all the passion shown in their marriage--with or without sex.
Charla's perky style is annoying, and her values, which she assumes we all share, are painfully shallow. She disdains ugly mini-vans (and her beloved children's energy future) in favor of a "cool" SUV. A "polite feminist," she believes that it's a "rule" that women, and now men, must pluck their eyebrows (and any other hair that doesn't meet her concept of perfect grooming and appearance). She is surprised to learn she is pregnant after just a couple of months, calling herself "very fertile" (what does this make Brad?) and making one wonder if she never learned the reasons that contraception became such a hot topic for 19th century women. She abhors the idea of aging naturally and fantasizes about "slight tweaking" through plastic surgery until Brad says, "What will she [daughter] think if she sees her mother conforming to these bizarre societal standards?"--standards to which Charla would have us all make every effort to conform.
Charla presents herself as someone you should want to chat with over coffee about the vicissitudes of married suburban life; indeed, that's how this book came about. I couldn't. It's more than her overuse of words like "nice," "gal," and "girls" (this from a "polite feminist") or the wearisome banality of her endless reflections. She's one of those people--we all know at least one--who prattle nonstop without saying anything, leaving one feeling tired and empty--or energized, if that is your sort of thing.
365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy could have been a compelling story, but it would take a more interesting and thoughtful person than Charla Muller to grasp the topic and its nuances and to do it the justice it deserves.
Couldn't Finish It... Just Not That Interesting! July 5, 2008
13 out of 25 found this review helpful
I applaud the author's commitment and I really wanted to like this book, especially after reading many glowing reviews on this website. However, what I found was a boring tale of someone's life and even the sex sounded very mundane. The author's writing, while mildly amusing with her self-depricating humor, isn't a strong suit. Her writing is not punchy and the passages are overly long and very tedious.
I diligently read through the first half of the book and then found I just wasn't even interested enough to finish it. I skimmed to the end, hoping it got better, but it was just more of the same.
If you want to read a funny and touching book on reconnecting with your spouse in the bedroom, try Just Do It by Douglas Brown. I would highly recommend that option over 365 Nights.
Funny & Inspirational June 24, 2008
12 out of 15 found this review helpful
I really enjoyed reading this funny and inspirational book. It has inspired me in many ways including getting the bedroom back into my marriage. I loved her wit and humor. I could definitely relate to many of her feelings on intimacy and family and if she can do this then I can certainly make some positive changes too! I can't wait for my husband to read this book to help him understand where I've been coming from all these years. It's a must read for both wives and husbands.
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