I just read the critical review of The No Cry Sleep Solution written by kelly-lcce and I wanted to discuss the points that she brought up from the perspective of an AP parent who has actually used the methods in the book.

1. She says that Pantley's recommendation to use a "lovey" is wrong because it means parents are trying to force their children into an attachment to an object instead of a person. But Pantley clearly states in the book that a lovey doesn't take your place, instead it helps the baby feel safe when you can't be with him (no parent can be with their child 24 hours a day). One of my twins uses a lovey (none of the others did/do), and we have wonderfully close relationship.

2. kelly-lcce states that "none of the benefits of co-sleeping were covered at all" and that there is very little on helping a baby/child co-sleep soundly. This is simply not true. Pantley herself co-slept with each of her 4 children and she even recommends a book on Attachment Parenting to help parents understand this choice. And there is an entire section on helping co-sleeping babies to sleep better (p. 130-136). I have co-slept with all of my four children (and still do when they need me, or I need them!), and I felt that Pantley's book was very supportive of parents who make this choice.

3. kelly-lcce says there is no value judgment on breast vs. bottle, and that Pantley should have said that the advantages of breastmilk outweigh the disadvantages. It is true that Pantley does not "judge" those who bottlefeed (by choice or necessity) - I think that is one of the strongest selling points of this book - the author is accepting of numerous different choices that parents and babies make. However it is also very clear that Pantley breastfed all four of her children well into their toddler years - this fact speaks clearly of her thoughts on the subject.

4. kelly-lcce says that Pantley's use of the concept of "flexible schedule" is very similar to that presented in BabyWise. I just looked up "flexible" in the index of the book and immediately found several paragraphs on how important it is to listen to baby's cues. Pantley's goal is to help parents "Follow a Flexible Yet Precitable Daytime Routine" (again the subject heading of a section). There is even a quote from me in the book about how, with my twins, I have a vague structure to my day, but I pay close attention to the each baby's unique cues to tell me when they are tired (p. 108).

5. kelly-lcce says that holding a sleeping baby is one of her favorite things of being a parent, and that Pantley's book strongly discourages this. Pantley says "There is nothing- absolutely nothing - as endearing and wonderful as a newborn baby falling asleep in your arms or at your breast" (p. 70). She says that in a perfect world where mothers had no other responsibilities, it would be ideal for babies to always fall asleep in their mother's arms. But since our world is not perfect, it is a good idea to gently and slowly help baby learn to go to sleep in his bed. Pantley says that like her, you may choose sometimes (or often) to let baby sleep in your arms and, "when you don't put him down...hold him with your heart, too, and relish every gurgle, every flutter, every sighing breath. Trust me when I say, "you will miss this (p.72-73)." She's right!

6. kelly-lcce didn't like the section on getting a baby to go to sleep in the crib without mom or dad, because it seemed like Ferber sleep training to her, "just minus the crying". Well isn't that the point? To acheive better sleep for baby and parents gently, without crying? This particular section is obviously not meant for co-sleeping families who disapprove of cribs, but in typical Pantley fasion, is accepting of the variety of choices that good parents make.

7. kelly-lcce felt like the first half of the book where the author discusses the needs of babies is disregarded in the second "solution" half of the book, and that this is just a sleep training book. I'm not quite sure in what ways Kelly-Icce thinks that babies' needs are being disregarded, because the most important strain throughout the book is that parents need to be in tune with their baby's needs, AS WELL AS their own needs. This book is not meant for parents who are happy with their sleep situation as it exists. In the beginning of the book Pantley asks the reader to consider whether or not her baby's sleep habits are actually problematic and disruptive of family life, or if it is simply the "sleep-through-the-night" expectations that were troublesome. Clearly kelly-lcce did not respond well to this book because she feels her chidren's sleep habits are not disruptive of her family life. For others, like me with my night-waking twins and two other young children, the No Cry Sleep Solution was the perfect way to fine-tune my needs with those of my babies, making us all much happier.


I strongly recommend this book!   November 17, 2002
 84 out of 90 found this review helpful

I love Elizabeth Pantley's book, "The No-Cry Sleep Solution"! I recommend it to many of my patients because it is kind, flexible, and very effective.

Of course, I am greatly appreciate the comments written praising my work, however, my approach is really designed to help soothe babies and help them sleep during the first 3-4 months of life. Elizabeth's wonderful book is my favorite for wakeful infants and children over 4 months.


Practical advice that's sensitive to baby's needs   November 16, 2002
 81 out of 83 found this review helpful

A refreshing alternative to the "quick fix" and damaging cry-it-out approaches that have been so popular of late. This is the first book I've read (and believe me, I've read a shelfload in the effort to get some shuteye) that works *with* a baby's natural and necessary tendencies instead of against them. Pantley offers real-life solutions, with real-life feedback from real-life moms. She acknowledges the uniqueness of all babies as well as the patterns that are typical to most, and offers a menu of possible things to try. This is the book for the informed parent who wants to know *why* her baby is having trouble sleeping, wants to know how to help her without damaging the parental/child bond, knows there are no ultra-fast magic methods -- and won't fall for the checkout-lane "get your baby to sleep in five easy (cruel and heart-wrenching) steps." This is important stuff and can't be dealt with in 50 pages...so it's well worth your time to read the parts of the book that are relevant to your situation. Highly recommended...by a (now) well rested family!


Every new parent NEEDS this book!   September 29, 2002
 78 out of 80 found this review helpful

Thank you from the bottom of my heart! That's what I'd tell Ms. Pantley, if I met her. This book is a gem. Within a month of reading it - and putting her suggestions into use - our son went from 20-30 minutes of sleep at a time to sleeping a solid 8 hours. Not even a week of chicken pox and cutting five teeth spoils his sleep now!

The techniques are gentle, realistic and loving. I know there are millions of mums like me who are (were!) desperate for sleep but simply refuse to give in the inhumane idea of leaving their baby to cry it out. All of you - get this sent to you by rush delivery, read it from cover to cover, and then read it again (it's written in such a friendly way, you'll want to anyway). Then put it into practice.

Incidentally, I gave my copy to my doctor. After she had read it, she called me to let me know that it is the best book about helping a baby sleep that she had read. She now recommends it to all her new parents. So, if my recommendation isn't enough to sway you, that should be!


Sent from above   February 19, 2003
 60 out of 67 found this review helpful

When I found this book my 9 month old was waking up every 90 minutes all night long, and taking several cat naps a day. Sleep deprived can't begin to describe the desperation I was feeling. And yet I refused to abandon my baby to cry it out alone. This book was truly and answer to a prayer. It gives simple, and practical solutions in a format that is easy to read no matter how little sleep you're getting. Elizabeth Pantley's strategies are a wonderful and loving alternative to the host of "Cry it out" advice you've received and rejected. The key for me was patience and persistence. This is not an immediate fix, but a light at the end of the tunnel.