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| Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines | 
 enlarge | Author: Nic Sheff
Publisher: Blackstone Audio Inc.
Category: Book
List Price: $65.95
Buy New: $41.54
You Save: $24.41 (37%)
New (7) from $41.54
Avg. Customer Rating:  89 reviews
Sales Rank: 4666127
Media: Audio Cassette
Edition: Unabridged
Number Of Items: 9
Shipping Weight (lbs): 1.2
Dimensions (in): 9.2 x 6.4 x 2.2
ISBN: 1433209330
Dewey Decimal Number: 920
EAN: 9781433209338
ASIN: 1433209330
Publication Date: February 23, 2008
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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| Customer Reviews:
Not A Victim, Not A Hero, Just A Man... April 13, 2008
15 out of 17 found this review helpful
A few weeks ago, I purchased both Nic Sheff's memoir "Tweak (Growing Up on Methamphetamines)" and his father's counterpoint "Beautiful Boy (A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction)." I set them both aside, going back and forth in my mind about with which one I should start first, but ultimately I put off reading them both until a day I could read them back-to-back, uninterrupted, and just immerse myself in the Sheff family's world. I expected to be a bit biased toward Nic's telling of events, but I never in a million years could have imagined just how much I would find myself nodding along and connecting to the very internal issues that lead to and continue to feed his addiction.
Nic Sheff spent much of his young life hanging out with his writer-father at gallery openings, dinner parties, and VIP events; he spent more time with adults than he did children his own age and therefore was in a rush to grow up, but however he tried to emulate said adults on the outside, on the inside he was trapping himself in a perpetual state of adolescence that would come to haunt him in his later years. Nic's parents divorced when he was young, and both subsequently remarried. His father went on to have two more children, whereas his mother would just have constant fights with her new husband-- fights that got so loud Nic would run into the tv room and blast an old movie, to drown out the sounds of the screams and yelling. By the time we actually meet Nic, he has already been in and out of rehab, though (all of the aforementioned and more comes out as exposition to fill in the holes later in the story), and he is on his way to San Francisco to partake in yet another bender. This time he ends up dealing, too.
Nic describes his descent into drugs with enough detail to make his readers cringe (like when he describes the abscess he develops on his arm due to a dirty needle), but he is never gratuitously graphic. Nic is never preachy, in order to attempt to scare kids off trying drugs, but he doesn't glamorize them either, even when he talks about the famous people (all names have been changed) he meets during such exploits. Instead, he merely lays out the facts of who he was and what he did, and in reality, he could be any one of his readers speaking. While the people he met along his journey and the way in which he started taking his drugs and then spiraled, got sober, and relapsed (lather, rinse, repeat) are specific to him, the mentality with which he approaches his addiction and his life with it is universal. The feelings of alienation, inadequacy, and general discontent could be ripped from the pages of any teenager's diary. He describes his struggles with his appearance, with coming from a tumultuous home life, his obsessive need to put himself in competition with others, and even his misguided belief his mortality could never be tested (in that "it could never happen to be me" oh-so-common way) with refreshing frankness, as if he can look back now and see it was all just an obsession. And it is in that obsession that he is most vulnerable but also ironically most accessible because we can all share in and relate to that personality trait; it is just more severe for some than others. And without naivety, denial, or just bold-faced lying, there is no one who can say he or she does not obsess over something, and if you think you can, then that notion will be more detrimental than crystal meth.
Nic talks a lot about his outlets: he always had drawing, writing, an interest in movies, his younger brother and sister; hell, he was even on the swim team! But all of that took a backseat to his addiction-- and not just to narcotics. "Tweak" looks at a few of Nic's close relationships-- from his AA sponsor whom he treats as a surrogate father to a woman with whom he had an affair and still carries a torch-- and in each one, Nic attaches himself quickly and spends all of his time with that person. That kind of dependence is an addiction within itself; he feeds off the other person's energy and spirit for the same high he gets from his drugs, and it often blinds him from the person's flaws or problems. He held that woman on such a high pedestal he couldn't even tell she started using again, even though as an addict the signs were all right in front of him (I use the past tense because I hope he has put her and his old life behind him now and for good, but only time will be the real test).
Nic is a beautifully poetic writer, and the honesty with which he opens his life and his soul to strangers in "Tweak" speaks volumes for him as an artist. He doesn't ask for pity or even empathy; he just writes from the heart. And he may always feel a little lost-- he may always feel a little on the outside of things-- but looking through history, most true artists did. What makes them channel their energy and passion into a form like writing or painting is often the feelings of not fitting in with those around them. Instead of diving down a rabbit hole of despair and trying to make the wrong kinds of people like him (as he has already tried and which were neither particularly successful or healthy), Nic has his stories, and in the end, that's all he needs as salvation.
 Stunning, beautiful, sad, and ultimately healing February 26, 2008
13 out of 17 found this review helpful
I just finished this-- couldn't put it down once I started. I went through every emotion you can imagine. Believe it or not, some of the story is really funny -- I laughed aloud -- but I also cried. THere were entire sections during which I didn't breath. And finally I felt something you don't always feel in books about this subject: genuine, pure, true hope.
 Weak and Pathetic! April 12, 2008
9 out of 26 found this review helpful
This is the companion volume to David Sheff's "Beautiful Boy" - the story of Nic's addiction to drugs from a father's point of view.
"Tweak" tells Nic Sheff's four-year+ story of digging through trash cans, gay sex, stealing from relatives, friends, and fellow students, finding himself in E.R.s and dingy, trash, and vermin-infested rooms, working with a father-son dealer pair - over and over and over, in pursuit of drug highs. All this while rejecting loving parents and a privileged lifestyle, bouncing out of two respected colleges, and ruining his life, as well as those of his parents.
Nic accepts no responsibility for his actions, no great commitment to break from drugs - in fact he ends up in the drug underworld everywhere he goes, including Paris, and little regret for the pain he causes others. The book is endlessly repetitive - non-stop drug binges, and offers no lessons for others.
Nic ends up in Savannah, continuing to live off others while hopefully putting his life back together "working" as an art model. I wouldn't bet a dime on his success, though, of course, I do hope he succeeds.
 nothing new here April 4, 2008
8 out of 13 found this review helpful
A co-worker lent me this book; I had seen both Nic and his father on a morning talk show so I was familiar with their story. I applaud Nic's efforts to stay sober and make sense of his journey through this trauma, but found the writing and insights pedestrian, offering nothing new to justify its publication. I am more interested now in reading Beautiful Boy, the father's book for a more compelling treatment.
It had potential but poorly written July 23, 2008
8 out of 8 found this review helpful
For someone that repeatedly proclaims his writing expertise I was very disappointed with this book. It is a rambling, self-centered pity party. I read "Beautiful Boy" and thought that it was an excellent book that successfully portrayed the horrible struggle that parents have when their children start using drugs - the out of control aspect, the helplessness, the grief - this book really showed them all.
I thought that having a second book written by the son telling his side of the tale was an interesting idea, and I bought it because I was very curious to hear what Nic had to say about the same events. Compare how the father was seeing the downfall while Nic was actually experiencing it.
"Tweak", however, falls flat. I didn't come away with it with any better understanding of why a child of privilege would throw everything away on meth. There were no insights. I didn't even think it was very interesting, and I certainly didn't think it was well written.
Honestly, I think if there had been an editor for this book that actually made the writer refine his work it would have been a better story. Everything about the book just seemed so even handed. There were no ups or downs, no rush or climax, it was all just the same monotone voice. As it is I think there are much better books out there that deal with personal addiction. Nic didn't reach me. He didn't make me care. If anything I came away with the feeling that he was spoiled and selfish, not sympathetic towards his addiction at all or with any new understanding about addiction. Nothing new here.
Let me save you $10. Nic does drugs because he likes them. He complains about his parents divorce and how he was abandoned. He complains about his father and that he was raised more like an adult and didn't have a childhood. Then he praises his father for his parenting skills and his wonderful childhood. He can't find God. He thinks he found God. No, he can't find God. He sobers up. He relapses. He sobers up. He relapses. He is diagnosed Bipolar. Things make sense. He stops taking his meds and relapses. He has sex a lot. He hustles. He steals. He shoots up. He falls down. He shoots up some more. Complains about parents. Praises parents. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I'll keep "Beautiful Boy" but "Tweak" goes in the Salvation Army giveaway pile.
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