I highly recommend this volume to all pastors, congregational leaders, and other believers who are seeking a biblical response to conflict in the church. The author also has a website that offers various key concepts of this book in brochure form. The church today could use more works like this one.


Good practical advice, caution with the religious discussions.   May 24, 2006
 23 out of 25 found this review helpful

Ken Sande is an engineer, attorney and conciliator. This book provides practical advice for reconciliation between parties who are in conflict. Most of the advice consists of basic communication skills such as listen to the other person, agree in areas that you can, try to understand from the other person's perspective, etc.

He also follows the Biblical steps for resolution of conflict such as overlook minor conflict, go to the other person directly, get one or two others to go along and finally tell it to the church. His points on overlooking conflict are very good and this is not something that is taught frequently, if at all, in many churches today. The methodology for mediation and arbitration can be helpful and Sande especially touches on ethical responsibilities to avoid exposure to liability.

Born-again Christians will probably have some difficulty with the theology in the book. Sande is a lawyer, not a theologian. His definition of Christianity seems very broad. He quotes Justice Anthony Scalia, a member of the Roman Catholic church, as an authoritative figure on the role of Christianity and conflict/litigation. At times, it seems Sande views anyone associated with a church as a Christian. Perhaps he is intentionally broad in order to make the book accessible to as many people as possible. He does not seem to believe that conversion brings about a change in a person in that "If any man be in Christ he is a new creature. Old things are passed away, behold all things are become new." There is no discussion of the influence and power of the Holy Spirit to make Christian fruit including peaceableness which is not something we try to do in our own strength.

In addition, Sande does not seem to see a change from the Old Testament to the New Testament. Thus, when dealing with many issues such as litigation, he relies heavily on O.T. scriptures. He ends up with the view that Christians can and should sue one another in certain circumstances and thus sees some scriptural commands as more of a suggestion than a command. He does state that the church should be involved in a conflict between Christians before litigation occurs and that appropriate discipline may be necessary but does not specifically address excommunication from the church. He also does not address the scriptural requirement that if someone acts in an evil way, we are not to resist him or her but are required to go further and bless him or her.

All in all, the practical advice is very good. I think you just have to sort through the religious discussions carefully and, of course, test everything against scripture.


Great tool for reconciliation   November 4, 2004
 21 out of 22 found this review helpful

The Peacemaker is the most helpful guide I have found to assist Christians in resolving conflict. It takes an uncommonly Biblical approach, leading one through a process designed to foster reconciliation, to God's glory. One is instructed in ways to "get the log out of your eye"; to "go and show your brother his faults," and to "go and be reconciled." These principles are applied to a variety of situations: third-party conciliation, forgiveness, confession, church discipline, self-examination, conflict assessment, and more.

Sande continually reminds his readers that conflict is a great opportunity to see the Gospel lived out in radical ways. By this God is glorified in ways the world cannot explain. This must be the focus of all peacemaking: "whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" (I Cor. 10:31).

While Sande provides an abundance of practical techniques for implementing his understanding of Biblical principle of peacemaking, these by themselves cannot accomplish what is needed. The methods only provide opportunities for reconciliation, but true reconciliation is always a heart issue. In the end, all of Sande's steps and procedures must happen through faith alone in Christ alone. Apart from him we can do nothing (John 15:5). And simply going through the motions, however precisely, cannot serve as a substitute for the work of the Holy Spirit, who alone can apply Christ's work of reconciliation to us. Conflict may cease on the surface, and hostilities can be contained or sublimated, but true reconciliation cannot happen apart from the Holy Spirit giving the parties a growing experience of what Christ has done to reconcile us to the Father (2 Cor. 5:18-20).

Since teaching the Peacemaker c.e. series in 2000, I have seen these concepts at work in the life of our church family. I stock extra copies of the "Peacemaker Pledge" pamphlet on our fellowship table on Sundays and in my office. I have been amazed at how this tool can often humble people and redirect the focus of their concerns from their own agenda to God's glory.

But I have also seen the Peacemaker materials misused. People can go through the steps of Sande's book explicitly and methodically, but the focus can be misdirected from God's glory to the person's own hurt. If one starts from a self-righteous place it can poison all the steps of Sande's book.

This is a reminder that we cannot engineer what we desire, but are completely dependant on the Lord's grace for true reconciliation. The only One capable of real peacemaking is "the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep" (Heb. 13:20).



Very practical and biblically based guide on conflict   August 11, 1998
 10 out of 10 found this review helpful

This book was written by a Christian who is also a lawyer with insight into human nature -- ie his christian worldview strongly informs his understanding of psychology rather than vice versa.

The book is littered with biblical references, perhaps 10 per page, and when you go to look them up you find that they are not trite or the 'standard christian answer' but that they add insight to the problem. I never knew the bible had so much to say about the issue. Rather than acting as out-of-context prooftexts for a pet theory, the conclusions clearly follow from the text.

Though his modern day examples generally involve large conflicts on the verge of a lawsuit (the clients the author takes on), there is much which applies to lesser conflicts at work, with family, or, in my case, during the first year of marriage.


Biblical, Practical, and Excellent !   October 11, 2003
 10 out of 10 found this review helpful

Sande's book is valuable for the church pastor, layperson, business person, parent, or anyone in a position of authority.

Among the important points Sande covers include:

1. Trusting in the Lord to help you resolve a conflict.
2. When to forfeit your rights and when to stand up for them.
3. Examine your own attitude before confronting others.
4. Principles for dealing with yourself and allowing God to transform you.
5. Principles on confronting others in love.
6. How to apply Matthew 18:15-20.
7. Forgive others as God has forgiven you.
8. Overcoming evil with good.

A highly recommended read, you do not need to be a pastor or high-powered business executive to benefit from this gem!