My wife read this book first and I noticed an immediate change in how she reacted to our rather headstrong two-year old. Staying calm, and giving choices like: Do you want to have milk before you go to bed, or juice? This instead of the battle on whether or not she was going to bed. We find ourselves laughing at some of the absurd choices we come up with, and it's harder than it appears to consistently think this way. What is easy to see is that it works, and works well. Some of our biggest battles over dressing, or going to bed, or eating dinner have become much easier and the "uh-oh" said calmly has stopped some poor behavior in its tracks!

While we both embrace the fact that testing the limits is a natural and healthy way for young children to learn, this book gave some great insights on how to facilitate and not discourage that type of learning, and yet still teach the right behaviors.

I was not thrilled with the overall editing and layout of the book, as it jumped around a bit, and half-way through would say things like: This may not work for children under three! OK, this is information we could have used four chapters ago when the authors were making a point we were attempting to follow. That minor complaint notwithstanding, this is an excellent book and is highly recommended for all parents with young children.


Stop enabling: Teach responsibility with love and logic   March 15, 2000
 72 out of 81 found this review helpful

This book provides sound parenting philosophy and easy to use guidelines to apply it. As a teacher, it is clear to me which students have been raised with loving and logical parents. So many parents confuse love with protection. Parenting with love and logic means allowing your kids to make choices ... and sometimes mistakes. Some may object to the "Basic German Shepard" tactics or the idea that claims that spanking is sometimes alright. Use what you wish from the book. I have never spanked my child, nor do I order him around like a dog. To avoid a power struggle with my son who didn't want to put on his clothes or coat for a 5 minute ride home from my sister's house, I used Love and Logic principles. On a cold January evening in Michigan I carried him to the car in his underwear. Moments later, he said, "I'm cold." I simply kept driving and said, ... Perhaps next time you will make a different choice?" A natural instinct would be to cover him up and protect him from the cold. He was not injured in any way. By sticking to the principle, however, he learned two very important lessons: 1) mom is not kidding around, and 2) it's smart to wear your clothes and a coat. Since that evening, we have not struggled to get dressed. Try it!


Not for my family   February 25, 2004
 71 out of 97 found this review helpful

Parenting with love and Logic was extremely disappointing to me. I am in the process filling out adoption paperwork for a special needs child. the ideas of (as examples stated in this book) putting my child in the basement when they are having a tantrum and harming themselves, or of denying my child supper because he neglected to feed the cat by 5 PM (on the basis of "Mommy feeds 3 mouths. Since you didn't feed the cat, tonight those 3 mouths are Mommy, Daddy and the cat) are appalling. Many examples involved enlisting friends who would be willing to follow your children home after you put them out of the car, were willing to stay overnight at your home (after your child's waking you up in the middle of the night prompted you and your spouse to go to a hotel) or to hang around the store/mall waiting to see if your child would misbehave, so you could call them and have them take the child home. This book operates on the assumption that children are "Miniature Adults" and if that's your theory as well, perhaps this book will be of value to you.