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| Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman's Guide to Winning Her Man's Heart | 
 enlarge | Author: Sherry Argov
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Category: Book
List Price: $14.95
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Avg. Customer Rating:  119 reviews
Sales Rank: 4060
Media: Paperback
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 272
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.8
Dimensions (in): 8.3 x 5.4 x 0.9
ISBN: 074327637X
Dewey Decimal Number: 646.77082
EAN: 9780743276375
ASIN: 074327637X
Publication Date: June 6, 2006
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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Product Description
Make him chase you...Until you catch him.Never shy and always laugh-out-loud funny, Sherry Argov's Why Men Marry Bitches is a sharp-witted manifesto that shows women how to transform a casual relationship into a committed one. With the grittiest of girlfriend-to-girlfriend detail, Argov removes the kid gloves and explains why being extra nice doesn't necessarily mean he'll be more devoted. The guide shares real-life "no holds barred" interviews with men who answer the following in raw detail: - How do men manipulate a relationship to keep it casual?
- Do men deliberately push women's emotional buttons?
- How can she convince him commitment was his idea?
- How can she invite a proposal without saying a word?
Whether you are single, married, recently separated, or just fed up with your family members telling you to fetch a husband because time is running out, Why Men Marry Bitches is the must-have guide that will show you how to exude confidence, win his heart, and get the love and respect you deserve.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 114 more reviews...
 Self confident women are indeed sexy, but her relationship advice is for the cavewoman March 9, 2007
98 out of 112 found this review helpful
The good news is that "Why Men Marry Bitches", Sherry Argov's relationship advice sequel to the dating advice of "Why Men Love Bitches", is an improvement. Her basic premise - that men do in fact want self-confident, assertive, and competent women - is dead on, and several of the 75 "relationship principles" are quite accurate. The bad news is that the majority of her relationship advice seems to lump all men as Cro-Magnons but more importantly, if you follow her directives you may temporarily get you what you want out of the relationship but you also may be setting it up for things that could destroy it if you're not careful. I come up with 3 stars after averaging a worthy 5 for the message of self-esteem with some accurate suggestions along with a 1 for some utterly bone-headed assumptions. Look to Greg Behrendt's books if you want inside men's heads instead and Carolyn Hax if you want relationship advice that works.
Argov's basic message is quite sound. To quote the author, "men want a competent woman who can think for herself, handle her business, take charge, and tell him to knock off the foolishness," and many of the 75 points explain exactly why this is the case. Some advice is dead on accurate; dressing for success, being yourself, realizing that you can't change someone, making sure you're happy with who you are and "standing up for what you believe in a decent and honest way" are all really good points that tackle some basic mistakes women who aren't experienced in relationships (and some who are) make. The loud and clear message of self-respect comes through loud and clear; the basic premise of "if a woman thinks all she has to offer is sex...(she's less desirable)" is the backbone of an entire chapter. Good stuff.
Where it fails miserably is her relationship advice. In fairness, there are some surprisingly valuable and clear nuggets like "Just like women can't get too many compliments, a man can't get too much appreciation for his contribution." Any number of psychologists will tell you the same but far more murkily, and warning women about an "attitude of entitlement" scaring men away is a valuable insight.
The basic underlying problem is that while she did survey a number of men, she makes some really bad and inaccurate assumptions about how men think. A particularly egregious and sexist one is that "men (are) socialized to think women are the weaker sex," and that men "want to turn back the clock" and "jest about women in the police force...and military." The sole objective of a man with a woman is "obviously...to jump into bed." In short, men haven't evolved from the Cro-Magnon age.
With this shaky basis of understanding comes some pretty shaky advice. Men get turned off by "my clock is ticking" and "so where do we stand" according to Argov because it's "too obvious," where what truly turns off many are that children and marriage are a continuation of a great relationship, not a goal in and of itself. More dangerous are tidbits like "avert a fight (over bad behavior)...with one sentence responses" and "negotiations should be 95% nonverbal." This may get women what they want near term, but if they can't come up with an effective way to communicate with their partners about such issues any relationship is in real trouble longer term. Men can be made to cook dinner by a deal agreeing that whomever gets home first does so, except if the woman gets home early they should drive around randomly to make sure he does instead. This resembles the disastrous advice in her first book about how a woman whose husband didn't want to pay for housekeeping services simply claimed to spend a little more for grocery shopping and paid for it that way behind his back. Anyone who follows this advice is going down a path of behavior that can really lead to two issues that can destroy most relationships - control and trust. It may work for a while, but if you're not careful your next book will be Shirley Glass' "Not Just Friends" to read as a postmortem as you probably won't have a working relationship for long.
Still, her advice on self-esteem is worth a read especially for those in the midst of a bad relationship. Argov is a comedian by training, and the book is relatively funny. The problem is much of her advice more or less stinks. Using the messily divorced Meg Ryan and Kim Basinger's words as points to live by points out the problem: often good thoughts, but incredibly bad application since strangely enough, ultimately they weren't able to make their relationships work. Greg Behrendt offers a lot more insight into the male mind, and Carolyn Hax a lot more reasonable advice on how healthy relationships function. Try them instead.
 If you want to get married--read this book June 1, 2006
41 out of 43 found this review helpful
Why Men Marry Bitches is a funny, insightful, and practical guide. It dispels the self-defeating myths that women often live by, like "I have to cathc a husband to feel whole" which translates to men as a more desirable woman. It gives logical relationship principles, and gives hilarious, detailed scenarios on how to handle the beloved, (if sometimes trying), man in your life. Read and follow the advice in this book only if you are seriously interested in having a quality relationship.
Why Men Marry Bitches begins with the uproarious anecdote: "Imagine a world in which roles are reversed and men cooked for women, picked up socks and couldn't wait to get married. Pretend you had a boyfriend who owned a hope chest with six lavender bow ties inside that he wanted his groomsmen to wear at the wedding. Picture him getting choked up every time you strolled past a Baby Gap. And that he greeted you at the door wearing silk boxers and cowboy boots, so he could do a pole dance for you." Then imagine they ask needy questions like "Where's my ring?" and "Why won't you marry me?"
Why Men Marry Bitches makes it clear that women don't need to work harder to please their man. The book not only encourages women to let go of long-standing myths about being perfect, being his sex toy, or being whoever he tells you to be--it exposes these myths for the self-defeating behaviors that women have to act like servants, and explains why men are secretly attracted to a strong woman who has more to bring to the table. The main theme of the book is incredibly empowering--live your own life fully and the proposals will keep on coming.
Forget when the other books tell you and listen to the advice in Why Men Marry Bitches. The book gives clear guidance based on hundreds of interviews Argov conducted with men to find out what is really going on. Chapters such as "Female Button Pushing: A Time-Honored Male Tradition" and "Breaking into the Boy's Club: Stolen Secrets--All the Highly Classified Things Men Will Share Only in the Company of Other Men," expose the secret strategies, codes, and signs men use to test women, to cover their own vulnerabilities, and to be sure they are loved for themselves--not what they can provide a woman. Think of it like visiting a foreign country, you'll have a better time if you know the "language." Argov provides the kind of "male-language" tutorial only a friend who has your best interest at heart can give.
Perhaps the most useful sections of Why Men Marry Bitches are the practical situations that Argov tackles. We've all been there. There's the small stuff--the man we love, doesn't call, breaks plans, or comes home late. There's the bigger stuff--the man we love is hesitant to propose. Why Men Marry Bitches gives realistic, specific advice on how to handle these situations while maintaining your dignity, self-respect, and independence. And that's how you make him fall more in love with you. Because dignity is the biggest turn-on of all.
Why Men Marry Bitches shows us, with great insight and humor, that when you are a "bitch" the situation is win/win. You focus on yourself, making a full, interesting life and how the man in your life loves you more for it--and wants you for his wife.
I've read them all, and this is the best.
AS HILARIOUS AS STAND UP COMEDY, AND AS SMART AS A WHIP June 18, 2006
32 out of 33 found this review helpful
"Why Men Marry Bitches" is the best book on relationships. Whenever my male friends read through the book they say, "Wow. She is 100% right. How did she get this information?"
What I LOVE so much about this book is that it shows you HOW men view commitment, and the REAL reasons why men don't want to get involved. In the book, men reveal that they want an emotional connection as much as women do, but often feel they aren't "special" because most women seem like they want a commitment...with ANYBODY. Doesn't matter who the guy is, she wants a commitment before she knows his middle name. And Argov explains with crystal clarity exactly what turns men off, and how a few small modifications in a woman's words or actions makes all the difference in the world.
For example, the author explains that women sometimes ask questions or say things like "Where is this going?" or "What are your intentions?" before she even knows where the guy lives. When a guy gets those types of questions, he automatically assumes she is in love with "the idea" of a commitment, or that she's in love with "the wedding" or what a relationship represents. At that point he keeps her at arm's length, because (as men explain in their own words) what they dream of is a woman who is in love....WITH WHO HE IS! She won't just commit to anyone.
Argov has a rare ability to make you laugh and at the same time helps you realize how to do better. It's a feel good read that is entertaining and brilliant at the same time. You walk away feeling like you stand a little taller, and that men are likeable, sensitive and human. If you've ever wondered why most relationships stall after two or three months, after reading this book, YOU'LL GET IT.
What I love most is the fact that Argov doesn't tell you what you are doing wrong...she explains how you can do it right. She never talks down to the reader. She doesn't bash men. She even makes fun of herself. She gives you the feeling that she's down to earth and real, and that she's kicking back over a beer with you hanging out and cheering you up like a sister would. But at the same time, she gives the kind of seasoned advice that a relative or best friend would give about dignity and pride. And of course, she shows you how to turn the typical dating dynamic around so that he comes away feeling like COMMITMENT WAS HIS IDEA!
If you buy this book and get past the title--you will find it refreshing, hilariously funny, and extremely enlightening. I never give 5 stars for anything. But this one is 5 star worthy because of the information....as well as the entertainment comedy value. You'll laugh out loud reading it.
Hat's Off to Sherry for a Great Book! Men Love Women Who Love Themselves December 12, 2006
28 out of 36 found this review helpful
I really like this book! It's a great read, no holes barred, tell it like it REALLY is book, and it's the TRUTH!
Who YOU are, what you love, your individual preferences and your backbone to dare to have the courage to be and express yourself EXACTLY as YOU want to, gives you the backbone, and the real inner confidence that is essential to a relationship - that you CAN LIVE WITHOUT - so you never buckle under and compromise your truth and dignity for anyone, ever.
Also, you're not NEEDY, you are LIVING and being just who you are, and if he doesn't like it, then he can buy a doormat at the local auto supply shop.
It takes GUTS and tremendous SELF LOVE to really be yourself, and feel complete solo - then a surprising thing happens, because you don't need, you receive! And He receives the best too, once you know who you are, and what you're REALLY all about, you'll have the confidence that can sustain a great, EQUAL relationship.
The key here, sisters, is that he has to win YOU over. YOUR GENUINE CONFIDENCE AND BEING YOUR REAL SELF IS THE KEY!
There's great guidance in this book, and I honestly salute Sherry for writing it! Awesome!
Barbara Rose, author of Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE
FUNNY BUT FASCINATING--MY FAVORITE RELATIONSHIP BOOK OF ALL TIME July 4, 2006
24 out of 25 found this review helpful
This book is the best book I've ever read--bar none.
I've shared some of the content with men and expected them to be offended. They weren't. All of them said that the advice was on point, and that the author did an excellent job of pointing out the things women do or say to talk men OUT of wanting commitment. Men I spoke with said that the author really must have intereviewed men.
It's packed with good information where you have one "ah ha" moment after another.
I saw the author on the "Today Show" and she said that mystery or intrigue is to a man....what romance is to woman. That immediately got my attention because it made sense. When a man is unfamiliar with a woman in the beginning, that's when he's pulling out all the stops to be romantic. The wonderful thing is that the author shows women how to give men excitement and intrigue (which they enjoy), so he fall deeper and deeper in love with the woman.
Argov has bolded principles that are easy to follow--with examples and stories which are hysterically funny. It's some times like reading stand up comedy. It's funny...then serious...funny...then serious. I laughed until it hurt several times.
The principle in the book that I like best is: "Men like to be kept curious. They like to feel that there's more to the story then what they already know." All the behavior is subtle nuance. The information is .... so easy to follow!
I got better information out of this book then I did from reading all the other books combined. Get it...you won't be sorry.
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